To gain access to a man’s mind, one must understand how men think, and why they do what they do. At one point in my teenage years I was shy, so allow me to talk from that point of view. It does not mean that I’m totally shy-free…. But I have made considerable bold steps to face what is ahead of me. In most cases, a man’s shyness zeros in his encounter with women; words may evaporate into thin air, awkwardness may define every move he makes, but every other phase of his life may be upbeat. Shy guys will often concentrate on their behavior around women, anxiety and nervousness grips them, and what drives these feelings are their impression on women. The inability to know what a woman wants just makes it worse. Shyness concentrates on the self, overloading the self with responsibilities to be first to make a move, to drive a conversation, to display a reasonable level of intelligence, and to act bravely. Fear of rejection overrides the systems and has even driven many to the gutters.
I have some good news for those who are shy. It is not all lost. In fact, a shy guy has the power to recollect himself from the gutters and rise to the occasion when opportunity strikes. There is always a girl for every man, shy or not. Better still, there will be a bunch of girls for a man to choose from, and God has directed that particular one to address your entirety. Yes it sucks to feel anxious and afraid of not knowing how to talk to a girl, even with courage to approach one… but we need to get over it. With a good connection, words flow unrestricted. More still, the girls themselves are equally nervous. If a particular girl doesn’t like you, there are others out there for you. Rejection hurts, but you also learn from your mistakes. There is no point in dwelling in the past. For every 10 girls who say no, there will be that 1 girl who says yes. You just need to keep trying, never give up. Successful family men were not born successful. Their success came from a series of trials and errors, accompanied with the zeal to succeed.
There is a need to re-establish your mindset. Shyness roots from your mental captivity. Thoughts run wild when the idea of talking to a girl surfaces, and focus on negative outcomes, fear grips you and clouds your chances of making a good impression. Freeing yourself from the slavery of the mind is key to making a good impression and the ability to face any situation that demands mastery of courage and boldness. There is a constant need to clear your mind and increase your faith that you can face anything. One thing I must advice you on is to make sure your motives, purpose and intent are right with God, then be made clear to your hopeful date or girl though your actions. Conversations more often flow freely, once you are free from your mind. It is even quick to get a common interest shared between you and your girl and the rest just flows.
Every reward has some accompanying risks, so take a risk, and let the rest worry for themselves. Girls want a man who shows some interest and is confident. Even when you blunder, do it with confidence. Never be afraid to say sorry should you hurt the girl, and make sure you mean it. Confidence is an attractive quality, and buys into the girl some trust and security with you. Confidence begets leadership, and girls love somebody who can provide leadership to his family.
Lastly, to overcome your shyness, choose your friends wisely. Friends who understand your situation and help you in every step to master the confidence you need. Let it be that friends will respect your feelings and give you the privacy you need once you take that bold step to approach a girl. Keep things simple, avoid the temptation to rush into a relationship, and most importantly avoid the temptation of quick self-gratification. Successful relationships require patience, and a high degree of tolerance and sacrifice. Godly relationships focus on God first, then your partner and lastly you.