In “South Park” Season 14 Episode 12 “Mysterion Rises,” we see Coon and Friends, minus the Coon, selling lemon bars at a table near the local mall to raise money for the victims of the Gulf Monster Catastrophe.
That is truly a super hero thing to do. Spoilers follow.
One remarkable thing about the Gulf Monster Catastrophe is that the military has not been sent down to destroy them, including the dread Lord Cthulhu. That tells us one of two things. Either President Obama is in his let’s-try-to-talk-and-understand-why-Cthulhu-hates-us mode, or he is a secret member of the Cthulhu cult. Either would not surprise me.
Cartman, aka the Coon, flies down to New Orleans to meet with Cthulhu, not so much to try to defeat him and to drive him back through the portal to Hell but to make friends with him. The idea of having a friend who can send everyone and everything that annoys him into dark oblivion kind of appeals to Eric Cartman.
Incredibly the secret to making friends with Cthulhu is to give him a belly rub and talk baby talk to him. As a result, Cartman, aka the Coon, begins to ride Cthulhu all over the world, wreaking death and destruction to the sounds of some kind of bubble gum musical number one might hear in the English translation of a Japanese children’s anime feature.
In the meantime, who is Mysterion? Mysterion, who affects a deep, gravely voice, appears to be none other than Kenny. It is interesting to hear what he sounds like sans muffling parka. In any event, Kenny aka Mysterion has a number of dark secrets.
The first is that he cannot die. This is not exactly the case, though. He can die, which he did frequently in the early seasons of “South Park.” “They killed Kenny! Those bastards!”
And the power that is a curse is that every time he dies, he wakes up in bed the next morning, no one ever having remembered that he had died, even though they saw him with their own eyes being decapitated, shot, eviscerated, and so on. But the power will come in handy by the end of the episode.
The other dark secret is that his alcoholic, drug-addicted, inbred, white trash, red neck parents were at one time members of the Cthulhu cult in South Park. It is not that they actually believed in a thousand years of darkness and everyone going mad. They attended meetings because the cult gave out free beer.
The goth kids, by the way, are pretty cool with a thousand years of darkness and everyone going mad, so long as Cthulhu gets rid of the Disney Channel.
Source: South Park, Season 14, episode 12, mysterion rises, tv.rage