Stephen Hawking is creating quite the stir with his new book, ‘The Grand Design.’ In it, Hawking claims that God did not create the Universe, that the Universe created itself through the law of gravity, that God turned around one day was like “what the…” (or so is my understanding. When I get bored while reading, my mind tends to enhance the material)
Hawking also claims that there are many other universes, that our planet is able to sustain life through sheer random coincidence, that there is life on other planets and that in the future that life will travel here via comet and possess our vehicles and one day while you’re running late to work your car will transform into a robot and slowly walk you home… (see above parenthetical)
These theories have angered religious leaders, in a similar manner to which Hawking’s claims that aliens exist, but we should avoid contact with them have infuriated etiquette experts. However, this anger is misguided and misdirected. While theologians may feel compelled to attack the logic in the book, it is not fair to target Hawking himself, for after much study, it is obvious that Stephen Hawking did not write ‘The Grand Design.’
Think about it. Each day, all around the world, literally billions of people speak trillions of words. Does it not stand to reason that at some point in history, somewhere on the planet, some of those words would come together in the exact order as the words in ‘The Grand Design?’ It seems inevitable.
One may point out that words don’t just ‘come together’ to form cohesive material, let alone a book on physics. This is a valid point (although I don’t appreciate you pointing things out while I’m trying to write). However, it is through the law of language that words are able to form a comprehensible structure, such as ‘The Grand Design.’ It is not necessary to invoke Mister Hawking.
One may then argue that we know Stephen Hawking wrote ‘The Grand Design’ because we have physical proof. Really? What evidence do we truly have? His name on the cover of the book? Could not you or I put our name on the cover with a simple magic marker? Would that make us the author? What about Hawking’s publishers? They say he wrote the material. But should we believe that someone created something just because his followers say so? Well what about Hawking himself? He has gone on several television programs alleging to have written the ‘The Grand Design.’ But how do we know that Hawking, who claims to be British yet mysteriously lacks a British accent, even exists? Does it not stand to reason that Stephen Hawking may be an invented figure to help mankind explain how complicated books on astrophysics come into being?
Due to the laws of language and logic, books on astrophysics will undoubtedly continue to come into existence and offend mankind, for who knows what outrageous claims will be made in the future. That the moon has a graham cracker crust perhaps. Or that the rings around Saturn are nothing more than discoloration due to the build-up of sweat and can be removed by a simple detergent. That girls indeed go to Mars to get more candy bars while boys go to Jupiter to get more stupider. No matter what the theorem, before one is angered by the claims in an astrophysics book, one must remind oneself that the book he or she is reading in all likelihood created itself and that the so-called author probably does not exist.