Well hell, I am just going to watch TV, I am going to watch the dumbest thing I can find. That would be Fox News, Congressional hearings , golf or poker ( which would also tie for the most boring TV .) “Look Mildred ,he hit the ball on the green.” “Look Bob,, he has three Aces.” PLEASE!
But I am tired of reading, doing crossword puzzles, or trying to figure out what women are thinking. For years, doctors have been telling us, the best way to avoid dementia is to keep your mind active to avoid dementia. Work that mind.
Well it turns out that is a bunch of B.S. Instead of watching that boring PBS documentary on the love life of sea gulls, you could have been happily watching Jersey Shore. Instead of reading War and Peace, you could have been reading an Archie comic, instead of playing chess; you could be happily twiddling your thumbs and watching Saturday morning cartoons.
A new study shows that “New research shows that mentally stimulating activities such as crossword puzzles, reading and listening to the radio may, at first, slow the decline of thinking skills but speed up dementia later in old age .”
Well damn it. Did they just say :”speeds up dementia? “
Depressing. You want depressing. Here is a double dose of depressing. The study reinforces the theory that too much thinking is bad, by stating, “However, once they are diagnosed with dementia, people who have a more mentally active lifestyle are likely to have more brain changes related to dementia compared to those without a lot of mental activity. As a result, those with more mentally active lifestyles may experience a faster rate of decline once dementia begins.”
So heck with that. I am no longer going to spend my evenings trying to understand the theory of relativity, trying to study rocket science, trying to calculate the odds of there being life on other planets. I am going to throw out that calculus book and pick up a Danielle Steele novel, I am going to stop going to ballet and start watching “Dancing WIth the Stars, I am going to stop calculating the vakue of Pi and, instead, go to Vegas,drink heavily and , while in a catatonic state, happily pull slot machine handles all nigh.
I am going to sit down and drink ( okay, I do that already) , but screw that intellectual crap. I am going to have a few stiff shots of bourbon and cruse the TV. I know they have to be broadcasting ” Midgets play Miniature Golf” somewhere. If I can’t find that maybe they have a good bowling tournament on.
American Academy of Neurology (2010, September 1). Brain exercises may slow cognitive decline initially, but speed up