I was reminded today of the styles some middle-aged men adopt in an attempt to look young when I saw a photo of actor, Jeff Goldblum, with a pony tail. Not only does it not make this middle-aged man look younger, it’s a style that went out of fashion years ago. Other styles middle-aged men wear make them look years older and are certainly not attractive to women. If you’re a middle-aged man or soon-to-be one, don’t adopt any of these middle-aged guy fashion styles and you’ll be well on your way to looking younger than you really are.
The Pony Tail – Just like Jeff Goldblum (see photo here), just about every middle-aged guy looks older wearing a pony tail. Jeff Goldblum’s pony tail is a ‘mini pony tail’, which is bad enough, but longer pony tails on middle-aged men look even worse. The problem with pony tails on an older guy is they accentuate your receding hairline, your thinning hair and the dryness of your hair and, no, they don’t pull your face back and give you a ‘mini face lift’. Avoid pony tails if you’re over the age of 30 (and even before that if you don’t want to look like you’re living in the 1980s). They’ll make you look older and like you’re trying too hard to be ‘stylish’.
The Swoop – I don’t know who told the first guy who ever wore a swoop it made him look younger but, whoever it was, that person should be shot. Older men with swoops look ridiculous. Plain and simple. For those of you who don’t know what a swoop is, or are not sure if you have one, a swoop is when you grow your hair longer on one side of your head and then swoop it over the top of your scalp to the other side of your head to cover bald patches you have. Let me tell you, there isn’t one woman in the world who finds that attractive. Not one. The swoop makes every middle-aged guy look older and a bit pathetic – like you’re fixating on going bald.
A much more attractive look, if you are a middle-aged guy who’s losing your hair, is to shave your head and go completely bald, just like Michael Chiklis in ‘The Shield’. To many women, that’s very sexy. The swoop – just isn’t.
High Socks With Sandals – Definitely a British thing, I also see this style on other middle-aged western men and it looks scary. Never wear sandals suitable for the beach or on a vacation and then pair them with knee-high socks. You look like my grandad, and he was 85 years old, had no hair and smoked a pipe. Stop it.
If you must wear socks with sandals, although you look sexier if you wear sandals without, only wear ankle-socks and only gray or white ones. But, seriously, if you can train yourself to be comfortable without them, go sockless completely or, better yet, wear flip flops. Way more sexy and they’ll knock five years off your age.
Tank Tops – Personally, I don’t like tank tops on 20 year old guys. They look too ‘trailer park’ to me and certainly aren’t stylish or cool. But, what’s bad enough on a 20 year old guy looks positively horrendous on a 50 year old guy when you factor in the sagging skin and gray underarm hair. As an older guy, you don’t want to accentuate your flaws, but instead concentrate on your positive features. A cool, well-pressed, well-fitting t shirt paired with shorts or jeans looks much more stylish than a tight tank top that makes you look like you’re a year away from retirement.
As a middle-aged guy, particularly if you’re single and trying to find a partner or just trying to look younger than your years, be careful what you wear. Any of these middle-aged guy styles will date you immediately so, even if you’re telling us you’re only 35, by what you wear or how your hair is styled we know you’re not. Besides, 50 is the new 30, so why not be proud of your age and look as good as you can look. After all, 50 year old men are sexy too.