Oh holy hell! Is it Wednesday already? Yup it sure is, and the Teen Mom hangover is extra big this week kids because we got an extra 30 minute dose of the Moms. Everyone have their box o’wine ready? Might want to have a back up just to be safe. Ok lets grab a straw and jump on into it.
Catelyn and Tyler- I am back to hearting these kids again. They have decided to stop making excuses and start making decisions. They can actually see that they have a future. They really are just so sweet. I just hope they can escape the hell that is their family. Butchy boy and April are like a PSA for dysfunction.
So the kids head off to West Virginia to go and visit Carly for the first time. The entire ride down I was praying that it was going to be a good experience for them, cause you know April was at home drinking her big ol’ cup of hatorade. Always nice when a mother hopes her daughter’s heart breaks. That’s just April though, always full of FAIL.
We all have to admit when they both jumped out of the car to see Carly we all got a little teary eyed. Didn’t your heart just break at Catelyn’s face when Carly didn’t hug her right away? Love, love, love the fact that Carly’s adoptive parents Teresa and Brandon were so into Catelyn and Tyler knowing Carly.
Catleyn talks to Teresa about April. How bad do you thing Teresa wanted to just scream at the top of her lungs, Your mother sucks! I know I screamed it. Poor Catey, she’s just hoping that she never turns out like her mother. Easy solution to that, don’t do meth! Anywho… Carly finally gives Catelyn a hug and she is beyond happy. Tyler is dying to hold Carly and when he finally does she just gives him the cutest little pat on the face! Too Sweet. Loved hearing them talk about their future and having kids when they are old enough to handle it.
The next morning they meet with Carly one more time before they head home to hell, and they get to see first hand how difficult it can be to have a baby. Teresa and Brandon tell them the good and the bad of raising a baby and best part is…They Got It! They give Teresa and Brandon the scrap book and the recordable book they made for Carly. Teresa starts to cry and you just know she wishes she could adopt Catey and Tyler too!
Farrah-Oh Farrah, you almost had us fooled. You were doing so well, I was thiiiiis close to being Team Farrah and then you blow it….So mommy dearest has decided that Farrah needs to go on a date, and like most control freaks sets it all up. See over at Debra’s salon the owners son is back in town. She comes home from having her hairdo did and tells Farrah she wants to set her up. She then calls the salon and tells the owner that Fah needs her roots done and a cut and that Julian should do it. Code for I want to hook my daughter up with your son. Ok Scott Brown! Nothing like pimpin” your daughter out .
Farrah goes to the salon and gets herself a date. Now I may be wrong but am I the only one whose gaydar started to beep? Whatevs, to each their own. So Farrah and Julian head out and she’s wondering how to bring up the fact that she has a baby. Oh yeah, she forgot to mention that at the salon. So while Fah and Julian are waiting for their food they are talking about having to grow up. Farrah is wishing she could go back in time. She wants her 16 back! She tells him she about baby Sophia and he just goes kind of blank.
So Farrah hates her apartment so much she moves into her mom’s rental house 2 weeks early. This is where the old Farrah comes back. Oh yes, the bitch is back and she is in full on bitchface mode. She decides to give her mom a privacy check list. Debra is all Really? Ok game on. So mom gives her a credit check and rental application. Not to be outdone Farrah starts pointing out all the things that need to be fixed in the apartment. Debra pulls out her ace in the hole and tells Farrah since she moved in 2 weeks early she owes 1/2 months rent. Nicely played Debbs! Check and Mate!
Farrah has her friend come over and shows her all of the things that need to be fixed in the house. She tells her about the rental agreement and how she will just move right back out(no you won’t). Suddenly Farrah is all about I thought we were family?. Nice spin on the story girl. Did you forget you started the who throw down?
It all ends with Debra and Farrah hugging it out. Debbs tells Farrah to forget about the half months rent and that she loves her . They hug and Farrah tells Debra she loves her too but has this look on her face that reads I really hate you. Oh Farrah….I was pulling for you but…You fail.
Maci-Remember that parenting schedule that was done with a calendar and sharpie last week? Yeah that has been replaced by mediation. Here’s the kicker, Ryan a.k.a. Slacker of the Year, is the one who decided to look into it. Well I guess I should say his parents did. We all know that Ryan can’t do anything except sleep and yawn. This is not sitting well with Maci, she wants her baby, just not a baby daddy.
They go to mediation and meet Janet the mediator. At mediation Ryan tells Maci that he wants one more night with the Benster and Maci goes a bit mental. I am sure by the time Benarooney hits 3 Maci is going to be loving the fact that Ryan has the extra night. Trust!
What was up with the whole should we be together convo? Oh holy hell! Just admit you want to get back together and call it a day. Nope, can’t do it. Let’s both just pretend we hate each other. Sounds like a plan! Oh please we all know that there will be a late night text coming soon from one of these two.
Amber-So Amber makes the phenomenal decision to let Chris move in with her and Leah. Yes straight off of work release and into Amber’s lair. Wonder which one sucked more? Jail was probably cleaner, but again to each their own. So Amber introduces Chris to Leah, and Leah takes one good look and makes a running break for it. She is out! I’ve said it before Leah is the smartest person in that place.
We then get the nightmare inducing make out scene between Amber and Chris. How freakin’ gross was that? Thanks MTV I’ll be having nightmares for a good week over that one. Blech.
So Chris needs to use Amber’s car ‘real quick’ for god only knows what, hopefully for condoms because if these two ever procreate heaven help us. So Chris comes back from handling his bidnezz and Gary calls. Gary starts laying into Amber about Leah being a filthy mess with her legs all banged up and covered in scratches. This sets the animal in Amber off and once again the Beast from Hell emerges. Chris tries to stop her but….IT’S ON!
She digs through a pile of dirty clothes to find her keys and jumps in the car. Gary is still talking to her on the phone when she pull up to Gary’s mother’s house. I just DIED when Gary lets out a “Awwww Hellllll Noooo.” at the sight of Amber. Flash backs of last week beat down must have gone through Gary’s head, because he jumped into his car and bolted! Amber sees this as a sign of a bad father V’s. a man running for his own life
Back at the lair Chris is actually changing Leah’s diaper and getting her dressed. I can’t even tell you how big of a Freakin’ FAIL that was!! This leads up to the next Amber/Gary showdown. Gary bust her on everything, from the lack to clean clothes to the constant sleeping in. Yay Gary’s balls are back again this week.
This of course infuriates the animal, she likes Gary’s balls in her pocket where she can crush them. Amber starts right where she left off, flipping Gary’s hat, acting like she is going to hit him. All the good stuff that she’s all about. Gary’s done he heads for the door with Amber right behind him. Gary gets out the door and….Baam! The door smacks Amber right in the kisser! Ain’t that a bitch! Eat it!
Now at this point you would think Gary would peace out, but no. He decides to give Amber a call from the car and goes back into the house to work things out. Yeah coulda’ seen that coming a mile away. How awesome was it when Leah points at Amber and yells out “Quiet”. “Now”. Told you that baby was smart!. Gary and Amber start hugging each other and Leah looks at them like what the hell?
And this is where our journey ends with this season of Teen Mom. The reunion show looks like it should be fun. The previews show Dr.Drew calling out all sorts of shizz on everyone, can’t wait to recap that one!
So that’s all there is and there ain’t no more! Season 2 is ova! Not sure what Season 3 has in store for us but I’m sure it will be all sorts of turmoil with some new cast members to meet