That girl at the bar you’ve been eying can probably smell a bad line from a mile away. She’s probably heard it all before, and the same old routine from you isn’t likely to pique her interest. From approaching a girl through the following conversation, avoid these ten common pitfalls that will quickly put you on the path to rejection.
No. 10- Hitting on her right off the bat
Nothing screams “creep” louder or faster than hitting on a girl before she a) knows you or b) has expressed interest in you. Walking up to her with a cheesy pickup line and an agenda written across your forehead will only win you eye rolls and a cold shoulder, but approaching her with warmth, sincerity and humor can buy you some of her time and attention. If you hit it off, you’ll have plenty of chances to express your interest later.
No. 9- Ignoring her friends
When the girl you’re interested in is out with a group, you must win over the group before you’ll win her over. Give equal if not more attention to her girlfriends, forcing her to compete for your attention. If she’s part of a mixed group, engage the men as well. If any one member of the group feels left out or loses interest, they’re likely to try and end the entire conversation. Once you’re successfully won over her friends, you can pull her aside for some one-on-one conversation.
No. 8- Appearing Too Interested
She could be the hottest women you’ve ever laid eyes upon, but if you come across as clingy or desperate, she’ll be turned off in a heartbeat. If your actions tell a woman that she’s the most interesting part of your day, you’ll come off as boring and not worth her time. Instead, actively show your disinterest. Playfully make fun of her while complementing her friends, or casually discuss the attractive waitress with her guy friends.
No. 7- Complementing her physical appearance
Telling a girl that you think she’s hot, has pretty eyes, or looks like a supermodel puts you in the same category of every other guy who’s tried to pick her up. Plus, you’ve just made her feel uncomfortable. Ditch the complements altogether, at least until you’ve gotten to know her a bit, and start a conversation by asking her opinion on something, even if it’s trivial. This shows that you’re more interested in what she has to say than in what she looks like.
No. 6- Jumping through her hoops
If you’ve managed to make it through the first few minutes of conversation with a girl, she’ll probably put you through her subconscious “girl test” to she how you’ll react in certain situations. One of the surest ways to fail is by pandering to her, effectively communicated that you’re not man enough. When she asks you to buy her a drink, tell her she hasn’t earned it yet, or even better, suggest she buy you a drink instead.
No. 5- Wearing yesterday’s shirt and a 5 o’ clock shadow
Unless you happen to be Brad Pitt’s secret identical twin, the haven’t-showered-in-days look just won’t cut it. Luckily for you, you don’t have to look like Brad Pitt to attract girls as long as you maintain proper hygeine and dress with confidence. This doesn’t mean you need to bust out a sports coat every time you hit the bars, but paying a little extra attention to how you look (and smell) can go a long way. When you look in the mirror, you want your clothes to scream “confidence, power, and success”.
No. 4- Not Smiling
A smile can transform how you come across from a creep to a friendly guy. Wearing a smile, even if you have to force it, can naturally raise your energy level. Her and her friends are out to have a good time, and your presence will become more valuable to the group if you bring energy and enthusiasm.
No. 3- Ditching Your Friends
When you treat your own group of friends with disinterest, you come across as isolated and un-popular to onlookers. Girls aren’t attracted to loners and losers, but everyone’s attracted to popularity and status. You should be actively engaged with everyone around you from the moment you step into a bar, even if your objective is simply to meet girls. When she sees you laughing and having fun with those around you, your actions tell her that you’re an interesting person to be around.
No. 2- Drinking
You may think you look better and sound cooler after a few drinks, but she certainly doesn’t. Pounding back the beers may give you a temporary confidence boost, but it also impairs your judgment while making you look sloppy and out of control. She’s sure to be impressed given the contrast between you and that guy who spilled his whiskey on her shoes. If you need something to sip on, order a soda on ice. Nobody will know the difference.
No. 1- Not Recognizing Her Signs of Interest
Most girls will express fairly quickly whether they’re interested in you or not, but no girl wants to have to come out and say it. If she’s been making eye contact, leaning toward you, or acting nervous, chances are she’s into you, but if you fail to recognize the signs, she might get frustrated and move on. If she’s hinting that she wants to get you alone, but you’re too busy laughing it up with her guy friends, you’ve just ruined your shot.