…the time of year you’re surrounded by family and/or friends tracking mud into your house, soiling your expensively professionally steam-cleaned carpet and grinding dirt into the grout in your ceramic tiling. It’s the time of year you’re thankful for all those people you know and love who fill your house, life and mind with mind-numbing trivia, arguments over football games no one cares about anyway and where to get the best deal on snow tires. It’s time to be thankful for each member of your large family who takes all morning in the bathroom, uses all your shampoo, tries on your makeup and rummages through your medicine cabinet.
If you have children in your life, give thanks! Those are the little blessings who keep you up late with their bedtime avoidance techniques, wake you up early with their zest for life and strong desire to NOT MISS A THING!!!!, and spend their free time breaking things they should not touch/look at/borrow without asking and/or eating the dog food.
Give thanks for your furry friends too – your dog who is so upset by the upheaval in his house that he now hides under the couch and barks every time someone talks/walks/breaks wind. Your dog who is so excited in the face of his fear that when he does come out from under the couch he runs through the house like a crazed wolverine, jumping over the back of the couch, running past various women carrying trays of food who are so surprised and did not expect to be knocked into by a flying ball of drool that they drop, wobble and spill their trays so that Uncle Louie has to eat the stuffing with the dog hair on top (don’t tell Uncle Louie!). Say “thank you, dear Lord” for your wonderful kind sweet canine companion who needs to know where everyone is at all times and what they are doing to HIS stuff and is running from room to room like his tail is on fire, pushing small children down, and is speeding up and down the stairs looking for his squeaky ball – the SPECIAL one he can’t live without – he is too preoccupied to think about sharing the stairwell and pushes Granny from behind.
Give thanks for Uncle Bob who happens to be standing at the bottom of the stairs with a beer in his right hand and a cookie in his left and looks up just in time to see the look of terror on Granny’s face the moment she becomes airborne. Give thanks for Uncle Bob’s quick reflexes and bottomless stomach as he pushes the cookie in his mouth as his eyes widen in fear, manages somehow to hand his beer off to Aunt Janet and still has time to take two steps forward, lunge, and catch Granny before she’s rendered unconscious by a sharp blow to her head on the edge of a stair.
Give thanks for Aunt Janet who was so surprised by the beer being violently thrust at her that she took a step backwards and tripped over the cat who walked all the way across the room to place himself at that crucial spot. Give thanks for little Danny who was shoved by Aunt Janet as she tripped over the cat and accidentally thrust his arm through the front picture window. Give thanks for the quick dialing of Cousin Tim who already had his cell phone in hand and was indeed already dialing 9-1-1 before little Danny actually shattered the window. Give thanks for Grandpa who had time to be relieved that Granny was all right before calling Mom to bring the first aid kit and begin wrapping little Danny like a mummy “like in the Army back in the day”.
Give thanks for the 9-1-1 operator who decided to work instead of spending the holiday at home with his family (he may be on to something there), give thanks for the paramedics who left their turkey at the diner down the road, give thanks for the snowplow driver who had driven past just half an hour before your four car sprint to the emergency room. Give thanks for Dad who found a coffee cup on the floor of the car for Aunt Janet to throw up in when she saw all the blood on Danny’s arm. Give thanks for the nurses who didn’t laugh in your presence. Give thanks for the doctor who stitched Danny up quickly.
Give thanks for the diner down the road who welcomed you in after your hospital trip and fed you what they had left (apple pie and donuts). Give thanks for Granny once more for calling the cleaning service to put your home to rights the next day. Give thanks for the contractor who said it would only take two weeks to get a new window in the living room. Give thanks for Grandpa who found that roll of plastic window insulation that he used to duct tape up over the gaping hole.
Be thankful that this won’t happen again until Christmas!