Well it is soon time for Christmas Break and this is indeed, a special time for families to forget their cares and woes and spend some quality time together. Especially if you have teenagers. During this blessed time of Christmas vacation, you can watch your teenager sleep in, maybe wake up around three in the afternoon, wander into the kitchen, ask what is for dinner and tell you that he hates spaghetti, meatloaf, chicken – in short any meal that you cook.
Then your teenage can say in that endearingly snide teenager voice, that he will just go out with friends to some fast fool, I mean fast food place and of course do you have any money that you can give him?
And if you have college students, again what a joy to have them return home reminding you why you sent them off to college in the first place. They will come home in that cute little economy car, that for some reason smells like beer ,sweaty fraternity brothers , and of course there will be the slight lingering order, a faint perfume of vomit, as one beer too many caused someone to throw up in the glove compartment.
This cute economy car which your college student was so happy to get and would “take care of forever” seems to be missing a few hubcaps, has a cracked headlight, and some dents in the hood, which faintly looks like someone was jumping up and down on the hood in a drunken stupor while they celebrated the latest victory of High Tuition University.
It is amazing but this cute car can actually hold a whole semester of laundry if you pack the back seat and the trunk with clothes, Of course to close the trunk, your son needed the heaviest person in the fraternity,aka Baby Huey , to sit on the trunk, while your son closed it.
Ah yes, Christmas vacation when your daughter gets time off from her first real job and forgets to tell you that she is bringing home someone “special’. They just arrive one day unannounced on his motorcycle, and you are impressed by how many tattoos one man can cram onto one arm. The earrings do look nice, but that tongue piercing had to hurt. But he was kind enough to bring you a half bottle of Jack Daniels as a gift, explaining that “He and the old lady got thirsty on the way.” You wonder to yourself if you can get used to your daughter being called “The old lady ” Ain’t love grand?
Ah yes, Christmas vacation when the whole family gets together and the youngest members of the family who are too young to drive, drink or chase woman, sit around the house all day and say ” I am bored, there is nothing to do…”
This surprises you as you didn’t know that last night, someone snuck into their room and took the flat screen television, the DVD, the PlayStation 3 and that new computer , leaving the poor kids with nothing to do.
Ah yes, the Family Christmas – to make it complete you just have to run out to the airport and pick-up your mother so she can spend the rest of the vacation camped in the guest room, drinking, smoking , demanding to be waited on and saying that she never understood why your father left her. You DON”T say, “I have an idea why he left…” as that would be rude and ruin this perfect Christmas gathering.
It would only be more perfect if your 50 year old brother would show up with the latest 25 year old slut he is dating and …
Oh never mind, just enjoy the loved ones who made it home for the holidays.