My fiancée and I have been a couple since 2001 and have blessed this earth with two beautiful children. We have often had conversations about marriage and finally being the family that we both have dreamed of. Recently we had a discussion about money and for the life of me I could not understand why our take on this “necessary evil” (money) was not the same. We both were literally raised by a single mother although she has no siblings and I have nine. We were both raised on little to nothing and were loners in a community of thousands. I had first believed that it was due to the differences between the way Caucasian children are raised as oppose to Black children but I now know that this was so wrong.
I know this because for the first time in all these years I have finally hear what she had been trying to tell me. We talked about this several times and though I listened to what she said I did not hear her until a couple of days ago. The real difference between how we viewed money was not really based on anything else but the location of where we were raised. She was raised predominately in the city while I was raised in the country. It may not sound like much and far too simple for many but allow me to state my case before deciding if I have a valid point or I’m just out of my tree.
In the city, there are so many things that one can do and much of it requires money to get to and to enjoy. In the country, things are so wide spread that children normally stick very close to home when they search for friends and playmates. Because of the need for money to get around, city dwellers have to concern themselves with it early and often. They have to have it in order to make life enjoyable and connect with friends and family. Because of money they have to move around and find a place where their income can stretch and sustain them. The same can not be said in the country. There the need for money is not as necessary because the child will stick close to home and within walking distance of friends and family. There is little concern for elbow room because everything is so spread out.
Which is better depends on whom you ask and where they were raised but understanding another’s point of view before passing judgment is something that I believe we all can get behind. I’m comfortable with my take on money and I am sure that she is with hers. What I’ve learned is that which works for me may not work for others and no one should assume that just because we believe no matter how strongly that others can not believe something different just as strong.