Let’s just get it out of the way now; we’ve got another Housewife lined up for Scary Island, NeNe Leakes be thy name. That broad is just effen crazy, camera balls be damned. Meanwhile, Lisa’s gone (no big loss), Khandi’s dating, Sheree’s acting, Kim’s dipping in the lady pond, Bobby Brown’s attorney joins the fray and the ladies revolt against Dwight.
After all her hoo-ha about being the next great fashion designer, Sheree has decided she wants to win an Oscar instead and turns her attention to acting. NeNe interrupts Sheree’s acting class at her house with a 911 on Kim admitting to being bisexual in a magazine. Neither of the ladies is buying it, Sheree even dubbing Kim a “media whore.” NeNe has decided she wants to bury the hatchet with Kim (this week), which Sheree is also skeptical of. Across town, Khandi shows up at Kim’s house looking like a refugee from the 80s. She wants to know what’s up with Kim and Big Papa and this lady pond business. Kim calls it something she did “for a minute,” and gets defensive when Khandi wants to know Big Papa’s reaction. Khandi also can’t understand Kim’s hot and cold relationship with NeNe. The ladies also dish about Khandi’s new man, Baltimore Raven, Willis McGahee, who Khandi terms as “cool.” She won’t do the horizontal with him, but oral’s okay. Yea, we went there.
Speaking of going there, Kim’s 13-year old daughter is dating and Kim’s only hope for the girl’s chastity is that “she instilled the same morals and values that my parents instilled in me.” Does that include getting engaged to married men and spreading tales of your sex life all over the media? Just sayin’.
NeNe has Kim over for a play date and Gregg can’t believe how worked up NeNe is over getting together with Kim (A fancy gown! Jewels! A personal chef for the day!). Gregg bids adieu and after grilling Kim about her Adventures in Girlville, NeNe hints that all is not well in her own house and that she and Gregg are drifting apart. A change in the couple’s fortunes means that Gregg’s real estate business is in the toilet and NeNe is now bringing home the bacon. Kim takes the opportunity to drop a dime on NeNe that according to Dwight, he loaned Gregg $10,000. This riles up NeNe, who thinks Gregg is being secretive and puts Dwight in her crosshairs.
We got to meet one of this season’s two new Housewives. First up to bat is Phaedra Parks, so-called attorney to the stars (Bobby Brown kept her in Gucci, not Nucci). Phaedra is pregnant and married to a younger man, who happens to be a white collar criminal. Besides talking about how fabulous and well-known she is, and how unladylike NeNe is, Phaedra visited with client, Dwight. He sought her advice for how to deal with Sheree after he shelled out $30,000 to help her launch She by Sheree. Phaedra suggests he buy Sheree a copy of Emily Post and highlight certain sections. And sadly, he thought it was a great idea. Later, NeNe asks Gregg to clear up the Dwight situation. According to Gregg, it had something to do with an investment for $500 and a small return, yada yada.
In the spirit of them getting along (this week) NeNe invites Kim to a shoe party. Sheree and her gay, Lawrence, as well as Dwight and Phaedra, will also be attending, so you can about guess what happens. In addition to being a lesbian, Kim is also apparently British now, as she went around addressing everyone as “Love,” all night. Following her tradition of not liking new Housewives, NeNe is wondering what Phaedra is doing in her space and is equally perturbed to see Dwight. When he comes over to hug NeNe, it’s like a match to dynamite and she explodes. She shoves a check for $500 in Dwight’s face, who rips it up. NeNe gets all up in Dwight’s grille, who stands mute while NeNe buys her one-way ticket to join those nutjobs Desperate Danielle and Cuckoo Kelly on the macadamia ranch: arms flailin’, lips bustin’, weave waggin’. Everyone looks horrified and NeNe takes her entourage and splits. Later, she admits she should have kept her cool, and thanks Kim for having her back (this week.) And we’re off.
This season, we meet the other new Housewife, Sheree’s a grandma and Kim is neither British, nor a lesbian, nor Lady Gaga.