We’re into week three of “The Real Housewives of D.C.” and I have to say, I’m digging it. Infinitely more interesting than those Garden State Gals, with their fake and square tits and ham games. I could do without the encroaching menace known as Tareq Salahi, but I guess a girl can’t have everything.
Stacie and her husband, Jason, invite Michaele and Tareq to join them for an afternoon of wine tasting (not beer tasting) at a local vineyard. The Salahis roll up in their appendage, that appalling prom-esque white limo. Tareq the vineyard owner takes the opportunity to crow about his wine prowess and later, the quartet engages in some political banter. To Stacie and Jason’s bewilderment, Michaele fumbles her way through some highly astute analysis about Obama’s Red, White and Blue abilities. While she’s not on Cuckoo Kelly’s level, it’s clear there’s some satchels of gold clanking around upstairs. Stacie and Jason mention they’re headed to Paris and the Salahi’s muse they just might join the fun. Stacie doesn’t believe they’ll actually show up. Oh, come now, Stacie. They’d show up to the opening of an envelope.
Lynda (who has to be the only modeling agent on in history who actually wants her models to eat) plans a runway show at Saks Fifth Avenue. Mary shows up to support her, as well as get the scoop about what went down at Paul’s birthday party between her and Michaele. Lynda admits she’s disappointed that she reacted to Michaele’s taunts and reiterates she’s not a fan of the showy Tareq. Lynda doesn’t like Tareq’s influence over Michaele, which Mary agrees with, though she doesn’t concur with Lynda’s assessment of their wine (she’s a “fan” of their reds). Later, Mary and her husband dish over lunch about Paul’s party, particularly how splashy Tareq is (highly unusual for D.C.) and compares his sabrage skills (to which he popped a cork in Lynda’s ass) to “hunting with Dick Cheney.” Line of the night Rich! Mary also thinks Michaele was inappropriate to pick at Lynda during the festivities.
Cat fills Lynda in on her autobiographical book, which is about inappropriate lovers, dissatisfied wives and the hilarious hijinks in-between. Lynda thinks the book could be risky to Charles career. Later, Cat and her husband quibble for bragging rights over who’s busier, who’s more tired and who works harder. Cat is further miffed when Charles ducks out of shooting her book cover because he has to be in New York for work. Cat proceeds with her shoot, bitching the whole time. Charles pulls a rabbit out of his hat when he sneaks onto the set of the shoot. The couple does their own shoot at a different location, which makes them both happy.
Poor, poor Paul. It wasn’t enough that Tareq took over the sixth housewife’s birthday party, but turns out, he’s refusing to pay for the fête. Paul’s publicist informs him she received a call from the Salahis lawyer demanding she sign a waiver that the Salahis were in no way responsible for any of the costs associated with the party. Further, the Salahi’s wouldn’t attend the party unless she signed the waiver. Paul is shocked and surmises that accounted for Michaele’s absence from his pre-party primp session. However, he thinks Tareq is behind the strong-arm maneuver, not believing Michaele has it in her to pull such a stunt. The tacky train continues when Paul reveals Tareq was supposed to provide the wine, but only brought the one bottle of champagne, which we already know what happened there. Mary is horrified when Paul fills her in on the details. Mary finds it particularly distasteful because one, it goes against D.C. etiquette and two, the pair jetted off to Paris soon after.
Speaking of Paris, to Stacie’s surprise, the Salahis did indeed pop up in Paris to join them for an album release party for Jason’s brother. Stacie and Jason are awed by what “big ballers” the Salahis seem to be, calling Tareq extravagant. The couples bond over hip-hop and Tareq fawns all over everyone with a bunch of drunk I love you’s during the concert. Later, after a day of shopping, Stacie opens up to Michaele about her adoption saga (she’s made contact with her birth mother, who refuses to give up any information about her birth father.) Michaele is touched that Stacie would share this with her and the two women gush all over each other with sober I love you’s.
Back in the Beltway, Mary’s throwing a debut party for a celebrity stylist and gossip about Paul’s party comes up. Mary’s hair dresser relays that one of his clients, who was in attendance, told him Tareq made a point of saying he paid a lot of money for the party. The air remains frosty between Cat and Stacie. Stacie is out of the loop about the friction between Michaele and Lynda, who doesn’t want to be seated anywhere near her or her husband. Tensions ramp up during the evening over some supposedly racist Diana Ross comment Lynda made (I’m still not sure what happened. Maybe I’ll turn on the captions next week) and a pissed Cat bolts from the table. Paul follows her outside and Cat pleads her case to him about how she’s the farthest thing from a racist, though I have to question the wisdom of using the term “colored” in 2010, but I digress. Paul pulls Cat back into the party and all is well. Meanwhile, Tareq takes TMI to a new level by yapping about Michaele gaining weight in all the right places and boasting about, well, everything. Lynda thinks Michaele should drop Tareq like a bad habit. I like Lynda. She pulls no punches and takes no crap. I’d probably like Cat too – if I could understand her.
Next week, Stacie has a shocker from her past, Cat calls out Tareq, and the gate crashing begins.