Love is a two way road that somehow gets put on the back burner at a certain point during a relationship. Romance can change or improve a life and that fact alone can scare people. Many new couples are so caught up in how they feel and how the other is acting that they forget that after awhile reality will come into play.
Marriage is a challenge that many people feel that they have to give eventually give in to but two people should not marry unless they are ready for a serious step in both of their lives. There are changes in a lifetime that, depending on the strength and communication levels of the couple, can make or break a relationship. Illness, stress, finances, and infidelity are the top four. The article, 10 Steps to a More Intimate Relationship, on the Discovery Health site, discusses ten steps to help you build a stronger, intimate, adult relationship.
Find Common Interests
It is extremely important for both parties to have a common interests so that they can have fun while sharing time together. Most couples, especially those with houses or children, don’t have much time to spend together. It is imperative to find time to spend alone together, whether it be watching movies, playing video games, or just sitting in front of a fire listening to music. It is easy to enhance the time you have together if you are creative, spontaneous and are willing to be open to new things.
Another great way to build a more stable foundation for your relationship is to joke around with each other, similar to when you were dating. Laughter reduces stress hormones that are often elevated when both parties get too stressed or bogged down with work or finances, causing strain on the relationship. Support each other when needed, whether it be just simply letting him know that he are doing a good job on a project or if he wants to switch careers. Doing so will tell him that you have his back no matter what the outcome is.
Understanding and Accepting Flaws
Many couples can accept the other person’s flaws for a short time but after a while, if they can’t, it can damage whatever they have gained. Learn to accept his flaws and love him with or without perfections. Nobody is perfect, and should never expect anyone else to be perfect in turn. Couples need to know that no matter what happens, at work or at home, they have someone that is willing to listen to them and allow them to vent – someone who is emotionally available to them at all times. That is a big step that most couples may or may not be able to handle at all times, depending on their home life.
Pay Attention to Details
Paying attention can also tell a person that you are interested in the other person’s opinions and choices or even what they tell you. Being able to draw from an earlier conversation can turn even the biggest argument.
Explore Your Religious Beliefs
Most couples or families go to church together and that alone can build a bond capable of stabilizing any relationship. Even if you are not completely religious, simply participating will tell the other person that you care enough about his desires and beliefs to attend anyway.
Physical affection can add excitement to any relationship and sometimes it is hard to incorporate it into a busy schedule. Physical affection does not necessarily mean sex, it can mean simply hugging your significant other or holding his hand. A little bit goes a long way and should never be forgotten.
Make Eye Contact
If you ever talked to someone who cannot look you in the eye at any time during a conversation or otherwise, then you know that that person is either not interested in hearing what you have to say or he is slipping away – and quickly. Eye contact can tell a person that you are interested in him and what he is saying.
Make Time for Each Other
Finally a very important step that is a big one, and that is to give your significant other the undivided attention he deserves. Too many people are too busy with cellphones, iPods, or other electronic device to pay any attention to the other person. Show him that you are listening to him totally and that you are not busy with something else to make time for him.
Love in the 21st century
There are many different types of marriages, however romance in the 21st century has taken a new turn for many relationships. There are many couples who just simply live together as well as raise children without marriage in sight. That is called an Eternal Commitment, which allows you to build your own rules and financial walls and so never have the feeling of divorce looming in the future. There are also a couple options that some couples look into to spice up their relationships and they are threesomes and an open marriage (polyamorous marriage) which includes a contract of some sort. Open marriages are complicated for many couples because one partner may have a jealousy issue regarding the other partner sleeping with other women/men. As true as it stands that while some people are “marriage material”, others are not. The relationship needs to have a strong trust level attached to being in an open marriage and complete honesty. They can work, they can be good for some people, especially if a couple had gotten married at a young age. Open marriages can be fun, however some times it can be a disaster and can wreck more havoc on a marriage than anything. So, basically when a married couple are mature enough to handle change, and both are open minded, they can grow as a couple together instead of having all the constant argueing.
Loving relationships can get tricky and need constant fuel to feed the fire. People can get carried away with their schedules and forget to show the love and appreciation to the other person and not even mean to. Once the relationship is getting rocky it is hard to convince the other person that you are truly still in love with him and this fact usually adds more strain as you work to show him that you are interested in making the relationship work. Marriage counseling and relationship issue therapists can help but if the love is gone then the other will not be a big help to the ever dying relationship.