It is probably safe to say that Arizona Gov. Jan Brewer will coast her way to reelection this November. While her support for SB 1070 has enraged Democrats and civil rights activists across the country, many Americans during these difficult economic times approve of her hard handed approach to dealing with the issue of illegal immigration. Perhaps that is why she flubbed her first debate with Democratic Arizona gubernatorial candidate Terry Goddard. During the debate she said that, “I have done so much and I cannot believe we have changed everything!”
While Godard’s chances are viewed as slim to none, this article discusses 10 theoretical missteps which could lead to Jan Brewer being kicked out of the governor’s mansion in Flagstaff.
1. If it is discovered that Jan Brewer is really an illegal immigrant herself, from Finland, who came to the United States to, “sneak into politics”, then she might find her standing in the polls slip.
2. Supposedly a large number of immigrants from Mexico work on the Brewer family vineyard in Scottsdale, should this come to light it could devastate her campaign.
3. Many people believe that Jan Brewer, who left California decades ago to prospect for gold in Arizona, is actually the infamous, and as yet unidentified, serial killer of Long Beach California known in the media only as “Stabby McGillicutty”.
4. Rumors continued to hound Jan Brewer that she stole over $1 billion from the Treasury of the State of Arizona, in order to build a mega-mansion in Scottsdale Arizona. If these charges are proved to be correct she could find herself out of a job.
5. One confirmed fact is that Governor Brewer cut funding for KidsCare, a health insurance program to help children obtain health care insurance if their family is above the cutoff for Medicaid. Gov. Brewer said that the state was bankrupt when in fact they were stockpiling money in order to fight off lawsuits related to SB 1070.
6. Many believe that Jan Brewer looks as though she just ate a lemon because she is really an alien from Mars that was sent here to stir up animosity between humans on earth, thus facilitating an eventual alien invasion. Gov. Brewer has denied this though numerous citizens of Phoenix have noticed her flying home from the capital inside of what could only just be described as a “UFO”.
7. Could Jan Brewer be Hillary Clinton’s older sister in disguise? These two mega-powerful women who have their own following in politics, though on opposite sides of the political spectrum, have a lot of similarities including a tough determination to get the job done. However, how would conservative voters in Arizona react if Brewer was really part of the Clinton clan?
8. While Gov. Brewer is very “pro-gun”, she herself does not own any automatic or semi automatic firearms, thus leading many pro-NRA voters to wonder whether or not she will uphold gun laws and if Sarah Palin would be a better choice for governor.
9. Though Jan Brewer has denied remarks from those who believe that she is “Hitler’s daughter”, she has not provided definitive evidence that her family was not involved in the Holocaust. Should any more information about Nazis in the attic emerge, this could sink her chances in November, at least with non-Tea Party voters.
10. Unconfirmed reports from Glendale California, where Brewer used to live, supposedly say that she checked out several “dozen” library books from the Glendale public library decades ago, and has refused to return them. If true, she could owe hundreds of thousands of dollars in late fines for the books. The Democratic candidate Terry Goddard is expected to make this a major talking point in his attack on Brewer this fall.
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