Everybody stereotypes. We do so because a stereotype helps simplify human behavior, which is often very complex and unpredictable. In the dating world, singles and experts alike make blanket statements about men’s behavior. Often, these stereotypes are not only unflattering, they’re inaccurate. As I discuss in It’s Not Him, It’s YOU , you cannot succeed with men while believing stereotypes about them. Here are Top 5 stereotypes about men, and the research-based truth about each one.
Stereotype #1: Men think with their dicks.
Men perpetuate this stereotype even more than women do, and countless comedians have relied on it to generate some laughs. True, a horny guy isn’t the most rational creature on Earth, but either is a horny woman — why do you think there so many unwanted pregnancies? In truth, men’s sex drives and behaviors vary considerably depending on their age, personality, and on whether they’re “getting any” on a regular basis. Most have the capacity to stay out of trouble!
Stereotype #2: Men don’t want monogamy.
Players, and women who’ve been with unfaithful men, will push the old “spread the seed” myth. Throw in a little evolutionary theory and voilà – a stereotype is born. However, there is no solid research to support this stereotype; in fact, more current thinking is that humans (male and female) have the capacity to be both monogamous and otherwise. Most men fall in love, marry, and stay with one woman at a time. And, the stats show that some women cheat too.
Stereotype #3: Men are threatened by successful women.
While some insecure men are threatened by a woman’s success, most are impressed by talented women and enjoy the extra perks (financial or otherwise) that her talent brings to the relationship. This is reflected in the increased number of marriages where women out-earn their spouses. Most men are, however, turned off by pushy, competitive, ball-busting women.
Stereotype #4: Men won’t respect you if you sleep with them too soon.
It’s true that some men think in madonna-whore terms. It’s also true that hook-ups and casual sex are less likely to lead to a good relationship. But recent research has shown that the reason for this isn’t having sex too soon; it’s that people who don’t want relationships will seek out casual sex. If a man likes a woman, he’ll stick around, regardless of when you decide to have sex.
Stereotype #5: Men prefer younger women.
Many dating industry experts, jaded from watching their rich male clients try to “buy” hotter, younger women, often succumb to this stereotype. Ever watch Millionaire Matchmaker? However, statistically speaking, most couples are close in age, older man-younger woman marriages have decreased, and older woman-younger man relationships are on the rise. And while many older men do seek younger women, in the end they want a partner who makes them happy.
Male stereotypes make for good comedy, but don’t let them interfere with your dating life. Remember: if you believe negative things about men, those are the kind of men you will attract.