“Death is not a pleasant thing. There is little to redeem the tragic nature that comes with the end of the human life cycle. It is a necessary evil that mankind spends every waking moment fighting. Deep down, in the pit of our hearts, in the recesses of our minds, in the darkest corners of our psyches we know there is no escape from the grim reaper. Yet stubbornly we ignore our common sense and relentlessly try to live forever. Like so many before me I tried to outlive the sun- to save by last breath for when it was convenient for me. And, like so many before me, I failed.”
“Our time to exist is so brief, so fleeting. It is the time after that embodies the eternity we so desired. How long have I been walking? Who was I before I came to this place? Will I ever reach where I am going? I wish that these questions were the only company that I had.”
“We fool ourselves into thinking we have forever. Some of us even come to believe the world only exists because we exist. I believed that once. I used to think the earth would stop turning and the sun would stop rising if I were ever gone. My wife, my children… They came into being only when my eyes fell upon them. They were just actors in my life’s theater- fleeting characters in my dream.”
“I miss my wife. I miss knowing her name and her face. Were one thing to penetrate this perpetual darkness, it would be my wife’s smile. I am so lonely, yet I am not alone. How long have I been followed? For as long as I can remember, those yellow eyes have pierced the darkness behind me. Were I to stop walking, what would they do to me? Sometimes my curiosity almost gets the better of me. Sometimes I almost stop and wait. Wait for something different to happen. Something, anything.”
“I never do. I fear that whatever treks behind me, whatever owns those yellow eyes, would deliver upon me a fate far worse than the one I serve now. It pains me to think of all the things I took for granted. I remember the warm, loving embrace of my grandmother- though little else of her. Sometimes I can almost see my children, remember their voices- their names.”
“It is the nothingness I cannot stand. Where is the fire? Where are the pained wails? How long can this go on? I’m so tired… I would stop were it not for my fear of the beast.”
“My nights are sleepless, my days unnumbered. Is there such a thing as day when there is no light? One of the things I want most is a chance to apologize. As my loved ones fell prey to their own fates, I always assumed there’d be a day when we could meet again and I could make right past wrongs. Do they walk somewhere in this nothingness? Were I to shout out would someone answer? What if only this thing following me would respond?”
“Sometimes I ask myself why I wasted so much time on unimportant things in life. Then I wonder if anything is important. What was the point of my momentary existence if this is all that followed? Was I only dreaming of my house, my family, my friends? Dreams are the other thing I miss. I close my eyes, or at least I believe I do, and nothing happens. Perhaps I’m a fool. I cannot sleep, why should I be able to dream?”
“The beast stays so silent behind me. Never does it utter a growl or a hiss- even when I try to fruitlessly outrun it. Were it to do so perhaps I could deduce its species. Then again, can I hear anything? My own whispers- what if they are only my thoughts? I feel nothing, who is to say I can hear? No, I feel things. I feel tired. If only this beast would allow me to just rest a little while. Just for a moment. To sleep just a few minutes and dream. To escape this blackness and all its silence.”
“This is all there is for me. This endless walk has no destination- only two passengers. How long will this yellow-eyed beast follow me? When my memories fade and I can recall nothing of my supposed life, will my consciousness merely be defined by this never-ending journey and the yellow eyes behind me?”
“I will never remember the faces of those I loved, nor my own. I will go on, forgetting more and more about them. Life’s cruelest joke is that it is a prelude to nothing. After I died, there was nothing. Nothing but this creature behind me. This is my reality. There is no fire, no clouds. For as long as I can remember this has been my existence. After a life spent wishing to live, now I spend death wishing to die.”
“Death is not a pleasant thing. There is little to redeem the tragic nature that comes with the end of the human life cycle. It is a necessary evil that mankind spends every waking moment fighting. Deep down, in the pit of our hearts, in the recesses of our minds, in the darkest corners of our psyches we know there is no escape from the grim reaper. Yet stubbornly we ignore our common sense and relentlessly try to live forever. Like so many before me I tried to outlive the sun- to save by last breath for when it was convenient for me. And, like so many before me, I failed.”
