Pope Benedict XVI apologized to five people who were sexually molested as children by Catholic priests. In fact, the victims received 30-40 minutes of face time with the Pope (read here).
This is the latest in Pope Benedict’s attempt to defuse the vile sex abuse scandals that have shaken the foundations of the collective Catholic Church. The Pope is visiting London, where there have been large protests concerning his views on homosexuality and the use of condoms, as well as the sex abuse cases.
It seems that out of thousands upon possible thousands of molested children from decades past, only five found that “golden ticket” that resulted in a prized meeting with the Pope.
Amidst promises of ‘justice being served’ and the Catholic Church’s persistence in working to prevent further molestations by its undersexed (non-sexed?) priests, the Pope also, in a show of rare playfulness, allowed each of the five to wear his Papal hat, the mitre, but only for a second.
The Pope did not, however, let anyone touch his white skullcap he wears beneath.
It is reported that 80,000 Pope fanatics still gathered in Hyde Park to see the old sage as he visited London. A large percentage of those 80,000 Pope fans, who had also been molested as children, were slightly jealous, it turns out, of the five people with winning golden tickets who shared an intimate moment, 30 to 40 minutes long, with their intrepid leader.