Police shot and killed hostage taker James Lee today, ending a long standoff with police at the headquarters of the Discovery Channel networks in Silver Spring, MD. Lee apparently was no stranger to Discovery Channel employees, and nobody took his threats or demands seriously. Here at Associated Content, I’ve managed to obtain a list of Mr. Lee’s top ten demands of the network and have published them here for posterity.
10. Have Mythbusters test that myth of the guy with no kidneys in the bathtub full of ice.
9. Rename Deadliest Catch to Second Deadliest Catch, Right Behind What You Got After That Night With Lindsey Lohan.
8. Bring back that Latka character on Cash Cab. That guy was awesome.
7. Have the cast of LA Ink give me a bitchin’ tramp stamp of Jamie Hyneman’s mustache
6. Replace Jon Gosselin on Kate + 8 with Dick Sargent.
5. Just once could you feature Paul Blart on the the show Mall Cops?
4. Admit that Crocodile Hunter Steve Irwin is not dead, but merely living in witness protection after a member of the crocodile mob put a price on his head.
3. Cancel It’s Me or the Dog so that Victoria Stilwell can reunite with the rest of the Spice Girls.
2. Tell those a-holes at What Not to Wear that parachute pants and 8-Ball jackets are still awesome.
1. Goodbye Shark Week, hello Mahi Mahi Week.