Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert’s much anticipated, “Rally to Restore Sanity and/or Fear”, has come and gone on a beautiful Saturday morning on the National Mall in Washington D.C.. Despite not publishing an itinerary of events, the half comedic -half political spectacle managed to draw a decent crowd which was treated to music by performers such as Cheryl Crow. However, a number of interesting and unexpected events did greet visitors to the rally. Ten of them are listed below.
1. California Governor Schwarzenegger made a brief appearance to tell the crowd that California was now $30 billion in debt and would like be sold to the French.
2. Vice President Joe Biden made a special appearance to beg for votes this fall. Spectators observed a vice president obviously high on caffeine as he told the audience that he had drunk 30 cans of Mountain Dew in preparation for the rally and felt like he could, “take on North Korea himself.”
3. President Obama made an appearance via satellite from Ohio in which he said that the ground war against the Tea Party was going badly and that the country could be plunged into another civil war in a couple months.
4. To a smattering of boos and heckles, former vice president Dick Cheney showed up to wave his fist and warn the crowd that, “the dark times are coming for liberals!”
5. Jon Stewart announced that he would be running for the White House in 2012 as a “comedicrat”, which more conservative Stephen Colbert announced his 2012 run for the Governor of California as a “clownican.”
6. Jon Stewart invited Rick Sanchez, the fired CNN news analyst who made antisemitic comments on a radio talk show, to the rally where he was pummeled with dozens of coconut pies and made to swim in the reflecting pool while being taunted.
7. Al Gore made a rare appearance at the rally and briefly discussed his most recent river trip down the Amazon where he met a 40,000 year old tree which he believes holds the spirit of mother earth.
8. Hillary Clinton was one of the first musical acts, and she wowed the crowding with a stirring rendition of the Battle Hymn of the Republic played on steel drums.
9. Jon Stewart announced to the audience that the rally was held because Emperor Zeon living on Saturn told him to hold it and that he could accomplish great things for the universe.
10. To instill a sense of fear in the crowd, Stephen Colbert announced that there was some really bad churros going around which had been made with cinnamon contaminated with E. coli.
For Joe Biden’s Top Ten Regrets click here.