If you’re looking for a solution to the “man who has everything” problem for your dad, you may need to think outside the box. That means no after shave and no ties, but instead something genuinely unusual.
Along those lines, here are some oddities from around the Web that you may want to consider:
1. Bacon wallet
Made from faux leather designed to look like bacon (which turns out to last considerably longer than the failed prototype, which was made with real bacon), the only objection we can imagine Dad having to this gift is that it makes him hungry every time he opens his wallet.
And that’s why you may want to consider accompanying this gift with a six or twelve month membership in the…
2. Bacon of the Month Club
Every month have a different artisan bacon delivered to Dad. Comes with a Bacon of the Month Club Membership Card, a monthly comic strip (The Bacon Strip) about bacon, a pig ballpoint pen, a toy rubber pig, a bacon T-shirt, recipes, and discounts on other bacon and bacon-related products.
3. Beer belt or beer belly
The choice here depends on what kind of dad we’re talking about. Is he the kind of guy who’d like wearing a belt with slots for six beer cans or bottles? Or is he more the type who’d prefer a hidden sling under his clothes that looks like, well, a beer belly, and holds 80 ounces of his favorite brew (great for surreptitious indulging at the game, opera, or tedious family gatherings)?
4. Butt trophy
Is Dad a hunter? A wannabe hunter? An anti-hunting activist with a sense of humor? Then you might want to try a mounted animal trophy, that happens to be the “wrong” end of the animal. At any given time, you might find deer, fox, opossum, raccoon, or squirrel mounted posteriors available, or even the ever popular rat butt.
5. Condiment gun
If Dad’s more the handgun than the hunting rifle type, you can give him a bright red six shooter that sprays ketchup on burgers, hot dogs, or annoying neighbors. Comes with two washable, reusable cartridges.
6. Disease boxers
A rather disturbing option for Dad is boxer shorts decorated with replicas of the anthrax bacteria and biohazard symbols. Some fathers, however, might find this item to be in rather bad taste. For them, you may be better off with the classy, understated gonorrhea boxers.
7. Solar-powered sumo wrestler
Is Dad into bobblehead dolls? Then how about a sumo wrestler, looking fierce in his sumo stance? Watch him sway back and forth, bobbing his head at you, his worthy opponent. And he never needs batteries!
8. Stripper alarm clock
Let Dad wake up to cheesy striptease music, strobe lights, and a stripper figurine doing her thing. Great for the divorced (or soon-to-be) dad.
With items like these, Dad’s day will truly be special, or at least not boring.