You see an actor or actress on screen and dream of dating them. You’re convinced that you would make the perfect mate for that hot musician.
It’s perfectly natural and fun to dream of having a relationship with a famous person. Everyone — male, female, teen or adult, has had a “celebrity crush” in their day. Some are positive they’d make the perfect boyfriend/girlfriend for the celebrity. Nothing’s impossible. There are famous people who’ve met “ordinary” people — stewardesses, waitresses, nurses, doctors, secretaries — and had relationships.
But before jumping into such a situation, should you be lucky enough to have the opportunity, there are some words of advice. I know — I’ve been in a longtime, committed relationship with a well-known psychic/medium. He’s done radio and television around the world, lectured on several continents and written several books. Our life together has been a roller coaster of ups and downs but learning how to deal with the pitfalls has helped me tremendously. I was in my 20’s when we met and i wish I’d known what I know now. I pass along my advice to others:
I can’t actually say that I’m a typical “ordinary” person, since I am a writer. So I’m in a form of the entertainment field myself. We have many things in common and therefore it’s not the clash of two entirely different worlds. I’m not sure how easy it would be to be a nurse or secretary involved with a creative type. Some celebrities gravitate toward the “normal” world as a means of adding a level of normalcy to their life. They see it as a way of grounding and balancing their life. Other celebrities seek out other creative types because of the shared bond. it definitely gives an extra level of communication for us, and it’s easier to understand the demands (and there are many) placed on celebrities.
1) First bit of advice: Check your ego at the door. You’ll quickly find that the time you spend together, especially the time in public, is not about YOU. Be prepared to get pushed out of the way by photographers. I mean literally pushed. No one wants to take your photo. Another person may take your place at your famous date’s side — as long as they are also a famous person they’ll be welcome in the photo.
On the rare occasion when a photographer actually does want you in the shot, you will probably be referred to as “unidentified guest” in the caption. That’s you — “unidentified.”
2) Another problem in public – at parties, premieres, etc. is the fact that you may find yourself wishing you’d brought a date. I know – you’re with your date. But he or she may be separated from you while doing interviews, mingling with other famous persons for photos, catching up on industry talk, etc. Even the most well-meaning famous date will be forced to spend time away from you because it’s part of the job. I’ve found myself wishing I had someone with me to talk to me, eat with me, etc. I’m shy by nature and that may be part of the problem. Best advice would be to try initiating a conversation with other spouses, boyfriends, etc. — they’ll be glad you did.
3) Be secure in yourself and if you’re not, get there! There will be people throwing themselves at your date. Male, female, they’ll be after him/her and that’s just the way it is. There is little regard for the fact that you’re arm-in-arm with your sweetheart. I’ve had women proposition my boyfriend right while I’m standing there and in talking to others with famous mates, it’s not all that unusual. You have to trust that your mate doesn’t take it seriously. Don’t start an argument over it later — try to laugh it off. It’s a reflection on the person making the play for your date, not a reflection on you.
4) Be prepared to be hated. I mean hated. Think about it. We’ve all heard teens (or maybe adults, too) say, “Oh, I don’t see what (insert celeb’s name here) sees in his wife! She’s ugly! She’s old!” If someone has a crush on a celebrity, they’re convinced that they would be better suited to the celebrity. Face it – you’ve probably thought it yourself if you have your eye on someone famous. But try putting the shoe on your own foot and see how it feels. People will be critical of you, in the press or at a social event. You’ll be judged unfairly – count on it. All you can do is try to look your best and act your best. Again – it’s not about you. It’s just the fact that you’re with the celebrity and some people will find that offensive.
5) Don’t expect a normal life. Show interest in your mate’s career. They may seem self-absorbed but they have to be. It’s all about how they look, so there will be manicures (males included), facials, exercise, hair appointments, clothing fittings. It’s not optional – it’s mandatory. Your hours will be erratic. You’ll be up till 3 a.m. sometimes and then again may have to get up at 3 a.m., if you’re going on a press trip or accompanying your date to an early interview.
6) If you can, try helping your mate with his or her career. It’s been easier for me because we’ve done writing projects together. I’ve been very much a part of his career so we’re together much more than other couples might be. If you aren’t necessarily creatively involved with your mate, at least offer to go over lines with them, help backstage, etc. It will give you a better chance at quality time together.
7) Last bit of advice? Enjoy the perks, and there will be many. Lavish hotel rooms, invitations to parties, events, restaurants — it’s all part of the life. You’ll go places you only dreamed of, meet people you never thought you’d meet, and have the time of your life, once you settle into the lifestyle. Enjoy every moment. That’s especially important since fame can be fleeting and the lavish lifestyle may not continue forever, or it may tone down a bit for awhile.
Dating a celebrity is not impossible. Keeping a relationship with a celebrity going for years, however, takes hard work and a definite change of attitude. if you haven’t been scared off by my advice, you’re probably half-way there in achieving your goal.