If you didn’t already know, “Sister Wives” was a TLC reality series about a polygamist group, which is a guy with several wives. Before this show aired, all I knew about the polygamist lifestyle was what I saw in the media, which was those women with the creepy hairstyles, the creepy long dresses, and the even more creepy practice of marrying off their daughters who just entered puberty to even creepier old men. “Sister Wives” was so far removed from that lifestyle, that it surprised and shocked me. I started watching this series, thinking I would peg this group of women as all crazy, but the reality was that I came away feeling that these women were fortunate to have one another. For me to do that kind of turnaround of opinion was amazing. Here’s why I had a change of heart.
For the record, let me state that I am not in a polygamist lifestyle, nor could I ever be. I’m married to one man, and he to me. I would be insanely jealous, so a multiple wife scenario would be disastrous for me and my hubby. That being said, some of these women in a polygamous lifestyle grew up that way, so that it didn’t feel unusual or strange to them. But I am of the belief that human nature will always prevail, and even with the women who grew up having one daddy and many mommys, I think they will still feel a certain amount of jealousy and possessiveness when it comes to their man in real life. “Sister Wives” shows that in some ways.
In this series, the man’s name is Kody. I have to admit that he is easy on the eyes, as well as having an infectious personality. I was surprised that I felt that way about him, because when I first started watching the series, I was prepared to hate him. Not so.
His first three wives were Meri, Janelle and Christine. Kody and those three women are all nearly the same age with just a few years difference between them. Everything was going swimmingly, until Kody decided to take on a fourth wife named Robyn. Robyn was younger, thinner, and a little prettier than the first three wives, which I believe created a flurry of emotions and feelings like never before. However, the way those emotions were handled was impressive.
What sets this polygamist entity apart from any others that I’ve ever heard about, is the fact that these women work outside the home, they have opinions, they speak up, they are not isolated and live in regular communities, their children all have cell phones and computers, the kids go to public school, there are no arranged marriages, and the kids are allowed to decide whether or not they want to live a polygamist lifestyle or not when they get older. The wives all participate in organizing their everyday lives and sharing responsibilities. They seem to be emotionally connected to one another in a positive way.
Back in the sixties, there was a lifestyle concept called “communes”. Basically, it was about men and women living together and having sex with whoever and whenever you wanted to, regardless of marriage or any other boundaries. It sounded great in theory to “love one another” or “love the one you’re with at the moment”, but the reality was quite different. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to understand why that lifestyle never caught on and sustained itself. The lifestyle that Kody and his merry group of women live appears much more sane. And I’m actually appalled at myself for saying that.
All around me I see women who have been left by their husbands and are single mothers trying to struggle through life to make ends meet and to be both mother and father to their kids. I also see women who have never met a man who they’d like to marry and who want to marry them, and they long for that closeness only a family can provide. Maybe, just maybe, what Kody and his women represent, may be a solution to some of those yearnings.
Here is what I think about these particular individuals who we got to know on “Sister Wives”. Kody, as I said before, is a nice looking man, adorable actually. I also liked his personality, which is sweet and fun-loving. Meri, his first wife, is the lady who I believe suffers the most out of this whole gang. She says she knows she was marrying into a polygamist lifestyle and accepts that, but I can see it written all over her face, that it kills her every time Kody shows affection to any of the other women. I can’t blame her though. I’d feel the same way. However, she does her best to love her “sisters” and participate in this family.
The second wife is Janelle. She seems the most content with the way things are. The third wife is Christine. Christine struggles with this, but not quite as much as Meri. Christine had a huge problem with the fact that Kody and his prospective fourth wife Robyn kissed before their marriage ceremony. I felt like saying, “C’mon, Christine, your man has been having sex with two other women all this time. You know that, don’t you? So what’s a little kiss?” But for Christine, it went much deeper.
I also take issue with some other things I’ve heard during this series. Kody likes to spout this saying, “Love should be multiplied, not divided”. Sounds good, Kody, until the multiplication table involves another man with one of your women. That wouldn’t fly, would it? Apparently that has never happened, so Kody can live by his theory for now and it works for him.
So there are lots of contradictory things being said and feelings being talked about during this series. However, underneath it all, I came away feeling close to these four women and almost understanding why they’re doing what they do. We don’t see too many monogamous relationships working out just peachy keen these days, do we? So maybe some of these alternative lifestyles might be the answer, at least for a portion of our society.
In the news, it was reported that the Utah police are looking into whether or not they should press charges against Kody for bigamy, which I believe is absolutely ridiculous. First of all, Kody is only legally married to his first wife, Meri. The other “marriages” were just spiritual ones that meant something only to the participants. They were not legal ceremonies. Therefore, I believe that the police and government should not have any say in this whole matter. It’s none of their business. If there was domestic violence involved, or rape, or incest, or child abuse of any kind, then I say take them all down. But Kody and his brood seem like a very loving and nurturing group of adults and their children appear to be well taken care of and happy. Let’s leave them alone to live their lives.
As I said before, I personally could never participate in their lifestyle. I’m too jealous and too much a product of my environment to ever go for some other chick in my man’s bed. But I do have to admit that the lifestyle they lead and the camaraderie they share is very appealing. I never had a sister but always wanted one, and these women are all very much like loving sisters who love one another and help each other out every step of the way. I’m glad to have gotten to know Kody and his three lovely ladies and I hope they decide to do a follow-up series. I would definitely tune in.