I’m a horror freak and will admit that I spent this week watching Jason films on AMC. It’s Halloween soon so it’s fear fest. But did you know that horror movies teach us valuable lessons? Well they do, here’s the lessons I’ve learned.
1. Never stay at a creepy hotel or motel that has the words Bates on it.
We learn this from watching The Shining about the hotel, if only the family would have not gone there. Psycho teaches us that if you go to any motel with Bates on it you’ll probably end up dead, oh and really any motel with a weird owner.
2. Never Camp at place called Crystal Lake.
This is a no brainer, unless you haven’t seen any of the Friday the 13th films.
3. Never piss off the wrong person.
We learn this in a lot of films like Pumpkinhead for instance, the father gets revenge on the people who killed his son. Really almost every horror film or slasher film has the words “Vengeance” written all over it
4. If Going to Eastern Europe always wear a cross and have garlic on hand.
Now if only Jonathan would have listened, he wouldn’t have been taken prisoner by Dracula. See when the locals tell you something always listen to them, their not crazy.
5. If your house starts shaking, you see a ghosts, or something from beyond talks you. Leave the House.
How many ghost films have you seen where the people just won’t leave. Take the Haunting for a moment, if weird things have been happening, even for the sake of science, I still wouldn’t have been in the home. Amityville Horror is another one; you think they would have moved sooner. Same with Poltergeist too.
6. Don’t bury your dead in an Indian Burial Ground.
Two films come to my mind, Pet Sematary I and II. When someone tells you don’t bury your dead and warns you a like thousand times, don’t do it. Well our main character never learned in either films. At least in II, it was a kid who screwed up but in I, you think that he would have listened to the dead college kid.
7. Never trust creepy children even if they are cute.
Once again with Pet Sematary, cute kid but he just came back evil, luckily his father learned that. Other films Children of the Corn, The Innocents, The Brood, and Village of the Damned, those films just show us how creepy and evil children can be. Oh I almost forgot the best one, Damien, so next time you want kids make sure their not the son of the devil.
8. Watch where you walk, don’t trip.
Did you ever noticed in most horror films our heroine or hero always trips. Lately I’ve been watching Friday the 13th films, and I swear whenever they are running from Jason they fall. So try to keep a balance even if you are freaked out.
9. Always listen to the creepy guy, girl, or gypsy.
Creepy guy in Friday the 13th tried to warn them, the gypsy woman tried to warn about werewolves in Wolf man, and the creepy girl tried to warn the teenagers in Tobe Hooper’s Funhouse. But nobody listened, and see what happened they all died.
10. Don’t go in the water.
Jaws, nobody learned not to go in the water but they still did. Piranhas, Alligator, and Open Water, are three other films that teach us going in the water could be a really bad idea.
Well these ten things could save your life, you never know.