It’s hard to think about, but how would you react if your wife or girlfriend were to be raped? Would you be a pillar of strength, or turn your back? How you’d react says a lot about who you really are.
We all like to think that we’d act in the best way possible if faced with a horrible situation, bu the truth is, not everyone does. Some people have completely unacceptable reactions, but they think they’re right in doing so. Sometimes it’s necessary to think about hard situations and think about how you might react. If you’re lucky, you’ll never have to deal with it in real life, but if you’ve thought of it in advance, you’ll know how to handle it if it does.
Unfortunately, I know from personal experience that not everyone handles things the way you’d hope they would. Many years ago I was raped by a friend of my then boyfriend. This person who I loved so much left me as soon as he found out and found himself another mate. I was going through one of the most traumatic and painful times of my life, and I had to do it alone. I had hoped he’s kick the guy’s rump or at least been there to help me through it. Instead, he thought only of himself and walked away. I ended up violated, betrayed and heartbroken as well.
Most men don’t even like to think about something like the woman they love being raped. The truth is, they should. It’s well worth it to take some time to think about what you’d do in a hard situation. It’s also important to be honest with yourself about it. You may want to think that you’d do the right thing, but have you taken the time to really think about it and think of the long-reaching effects? It’s something we all need to do from time to time.
It’s a sad fact that a lot of men will leave a woman that’s been raped. To him, she’s now soiled, as if she’d cheated. They see it as a betrayal of their trust, and they see her as somehow dirty afterward. What they fail to realize that that she’s been violated in the most horrible way, and it’s not something any woman would ask for. She’s not going to love you less because it happened, in fact, most women will want their mate for support and a feeling of safety, even if intimacy is difficult for a while.
Take a moment and think to yourself about how you would react if this happened to someone you love. Does it really make sense to blame them? Do you feel that it is some sort of betrayal, and if so, why? Do you feel that making love to her after another man has violated her would somehow be unpleasant? Why? Do you really think it’s better to leave her and add to her trauma so you don’t have to deal with it? All of these questions and their answers say a lot about the kind of person you are.
Now, if you’re the kind of guy that would stand by her and help her through, giving her all the love and time that she needs to heal and showing her that not all men are useless animals, then congratulations, you’re one of the good ones. You’re a shining example of what more men should be. Rape isn’t about you, it’s about her. She’s the one that has been hurt and traumatized, and the last thing she needs is to be betrayed and hurt by yet another man.
So far I’ve only been talking about men and their female partners, but sadly rape can happen to anyone, regardless of their gender or sexual orientation. If either person in a partnership were to be raped, the other person should do all that they can to be there for them and give them all the love and support they need as they heal from the event, both physically and emotionally. This also applies to friends and family. It’s not unheard of for people to turn their backs on friends or family after a rape, because they think of that person as unclean or they just don’t want to deal with the “drama”.
If you’re the type of person who would walk away from someone who’s suffered this sort of trauma, you might want to take a good look at yourself and wonder why. If you can, you should try to figure out what it is that would make you that way, and take steps to change it. Think about how you’d feel if you were violated and the person you love turned their back on you. Those who have been through this need to be loved and given support. Try to be the kind of person who could do that for another should they ever need it.