I have come to the conclusion that being the other woman, while not preferable, definitely is not as shameful or dishonorable in modern society that it used to be. A man with a lot of money that can actually afford to take care of more than one woman at a time might be someone that a woman would tolerate playing number two for. A man that is in a position of power or authority, someone famous, or someone who is a womanizer that knows how to make himself look a lot better than he actually is are other examples of men that single woman might fall for.
But that might just be conventional wisdom talking, because clearly, women that have those attributes themselves are still settling for second best. For some, like Alicia Keys, the man leaves his woman and starts off a new life with you and for others, like Fantasia Barrino, not so much. Then again, we don’t know if Fantasia even wanted to marry the guy, nor do most of us know what Swizz Beats, Alicia Keys new husband, relationship was even like with his wife. All that we know is that a man is in a relationship with a woman, and another woman enters the picture.
So why would a woman want to be a mistress? Are women like single men, getting involved with married people trying to enjoy all of the benefits of a relationship without any of the commitment or responsibilities or are they stuck in a dead end relationship without any future that they do not know how to get out of? There is another example of a woman who may or may not be considered a mistress because the man’s wife knows about her, but a woman that for all intensive purposes, could be construed as another woman. That is the woman in the middle who finds herself in situations with both the man and the wife in a threesome.
Depending on whether or not either spouse is involved with the woman outside of their relationship she could be the other woman at times, though not technically a surprise to anyone. Depending on who’s idea it is, the wife herself might actually be the other woman without even realizing it. I could never understand why a woman who was not even thinking about being with another woman agree to do so for her husband, who has obviously been thinking about someone else for a while.
That all brings me back around to my initial point. Someone who is the other woman may be okay with it because of what she feels to be true about the relationship she is in. This is something that, at least for the time, she can wrap her mind around and a relationship that she can make work for her. I do not think that women are necessarily weak, desperate, needy, or have low self-esteem because they are the other woman. Some women, to be completely honest, may have fallen into a pattern of being the other woman and that might actually become the type of relationship that is the most accessible one for them to be in. It may be a phase that someone is going through. It is difficult to judge women that are mistresses because you honestly do not know what that married man is telling that woman or how he makes her feel. But at the end of the day I think that every woman wants to be the one and only person in the life of at least one man at some point in her life. People who ruin perfectly good relationships by bringing someone else in, either just for kicks through some mutual agreement with their significant other or behind someone’s back have underlying issues they need to deal with. People should learn how to stay in a situation with one other person exclusively, regardless of how chic cheating has become in the post-modern age. On the other hand, everyone needs someone of their own, and should not have to share with anyone else.