It seems every few weeks, there’s some high profile couple calling it quits. The media loves it and they sensationalize it every chance they get. We all got familiar with Tiger Woods and his various affairs. We pretty much know everything we need to know about him, down to how kinky he likes it in bed. Twas only yesterday news broke that Tony Parker and his wife the star of the hit show Desperate Housewives (quite ironic I must say), Eva Longoria will be calling it quits after three years. It spread like wildfire all over the Internet. It was the topic du jour for the media and social network sites. Just like the Tiger case, I am trying to figure out why this should dominate the headlines when the country is dealing with a myriad of problems, but I digress. We are here to dissect Eva and Tony’s relationship, why it went wrong, who is to blame….Wait a minute, isn’t that what Gossip sites do? The last thing I want to do is take away their livelihood.
No my friends, I am here to ask a question that’s been bugging me for a while now. Can someone tell me where the love went? When did it get to the point that we are now taking bets on how long a marriage will last? Its like people have come to accept the fact that marriage is a temporary thing. Its not meant to last. Who made this rule and when did it go into effect? I am scratching my head trying to figure this out as I meet more and more people who have become jaded with the idea of marriage. Are they justified to feel that way? Hollywood marriages are about as reliable as a one legged acrobat. You certainly don’t want to use that as the basis of your argument against marriage. These folks live under so much pressure and attention, it’s almost insulting to compare their lives to ours. We have all cast judgment on the Tigers’, Tony’s and Erics of the world but very few men can resist the type of temptations these folks face on a daily basis. It’s so easy to cast judgment on others, but very few of us can walk in the shoes of said persons.
I am not trying to preach to anyone, but it seems this generation lacks the patience previous ones had. I see it all the time with my peers, its the ‘my way or the high way’ generation. Doubt the word compromise exists in most people’s vocabulary nowadays. How does one go into a relationship with someone who never wants to budge from their stance? Whilst we are it, is communication still around? Has anyone seen it lately? I don’t know if I can call what we have right now communication. It seems so different from what was around when I was growing up. What with social networks, cell phones and technology constantly evolving, it seems we are headed to a point where interaction will strictly be relegated to computers, tablets and mobile devices.
When there’s no ‘real’ communication, how can both partners truly understand themselves? Maybe I am putting too much emphasis on real world interaction, maybe communication isn’t the problem after all. Am I supposed to believe that every marriage is bound to end due to some partner’s ‘infidelity’. Whatever happened to fighting for our relationships? Why do we give up on others so easily?
Before someone says I am condoning ‘cheating’….NO I am not! I just see too many people who pack it in once tough times to show up. This isn’t just happening in our relationships, it shows up in every facet of our lives. If you quit every time the waters get choppy, chances are you won’t get far in life. Its pretty much a given that there will always be ups and downs in life, same applies to relationships. I am one who ascribes to the train of thought that you can tell a lot about a person when they are at their worst. You get to see how well they deal with it. Just my personal opinion, if the person is a quitter, run….run far away!
Since we are on the whole marriage issue, let me get a few things off the chest. Can we please stop focusing on labels? People get so caught up in words, rather than the actual thing itself. People rush into things they are not prepared for because they are worried of what others will call them. NEWSFLASH! Your relationship shouldn’t be based on what others think of you or your partner. Secondly, I know there’s a segment of the populace that gets giddy about marriage events and all that goes into it, but isn’t it time we start looking past the event and focusing more on the union afterward? I know this isn’t the political correct thing to say, after all there are people who have planned out their wedding events since they were in high school. That is all nice and good, but how about planning for a successful marriage, one that stands the test of time? What steps are you taking to get this? This is not a female bashing post, trust me guys have their fair share of problems too, but I don’t meet any guy who spends hours upon hours wondering what type of suit he will wear at the altar and how fat he will look in it.
Drake’s song, “Find Your Love” seems appropriate right about now (Yes you probably didn’t think you’d see a Drake reference in this article). Whilst his message of chasing after a woman who is with another man is probably not one I’d promote, the title of the song makes a whole lot of sense. Are we more likely to leave someone who we are truly in love with? Less likely to cheat on them? A lot of people claim they’ve been in or are in love, but can anyone actually define that anymore? Most people get their idea of love from television and movies. Do you really think they know what it is either? Come to your own conclusions, its alright if you stumble but eventually you will get it right. Just make sure the one you say yes to on that altar is the right one.
On that note, I am off to place a missing person’s alert…..Cupid is still incognito, I am beginning to get worried.