Divorced? Hopelessly single and even though you may have gotten close, you just never found the “one”?
Online dating may seem like the way to find that “special” someone. Even if you don’t join a popular dating site, someone from your past may find you on Facebook or one of the other social networks. At first, it may seem like your dreams are coming true. Getting that second chance with a long-lost love or discovering that someone you went to high school with had a crush on you is great for the ego.
Finally, you may have that chance to live “happily ever after”. That is, until reality sets in.
For some, the online courtship can take weeks or months. Chatting online, emails and phone calls develop into plans to meet. Whether you are separated by a state or several hundred miles, it still can be just as difficult to turn this love affair into something you can see and touch. Too many times, the real world gets in the way.
You might get lucky and be able to steal a weekend or a few days in a mutually agreed upon destination. The excitement and passion of finally being able to see each other in the flesh is like a honeymoon that you never want to end. It has to end because you both have lives to get back to. The long-distance romance may keep you going for a while, especially if you are able to have these stolen moments together. You still hang on to the hope of making it permanent, although you haven’t quite figured out how.
It can be so easy to fall in love when it is long-distance but so hard to find a way to be able to take the next step. You both desperately want to be together but you both have been leading separate lives. Often, these lives are complicated with ex-husbands or wives, children and visitation schedules and jobs.
Sometimes love just isn’t enough. Although both of you may want to be together, it takes an awful lot of sacrifice to get there. Relocating isn’t an easy choice to make and sometimes, because of obligations to children, you cannot just get up and leave. Many times the fantasy of starting a new life together is fueled by passion and denial of your reality. A bitter ex is not going to let you leave the state with their child and sometimes it cannot be won in family court.
Financially, it isn’t easy to pick up and relocate either. There are so many factors involved in getting together when the love of your life has their own life somewhere else. If you are single with no obligations to children or family, maybe a long-distance relationship can work for you. If you are willing to start all over somewhere else in order to see where this love takes you, you may wind up being happy together. Maybe.
As much as you communicate through email, text, online chats and phone conversations, a long-distance relationship doesn’t always show a person’s other “side” the way other relationships do. When you live nearby and see someone on a regular basis, you get to know them so much better. Although in the beginning of every relationship we tend to work harder to show our good side, a relationship where you actually “see” each other is so different. It can progress from the honeymoon stage slower but often, it begins “real” so much faster than a mainly online, long-distance relationship does.
Being a hopeless romantic is sweet but in order to not wind up feeling a sense of loss when your long-distance relationship goes bust, avoid attachments that are doomed from the start. For many unattached people today, meeting someone may seem easier by using social network sites and online dating, but do so in a smart way.
Don’t allow yourself to get too emotionally involved with anyone who is not going to be accessible to you. It is hard enough to have a relationship when one or both of you has ties to your past. With so many divorced or single parents in the world, we are not always free to go where our hearts may want to.
Falling in love with someone does not always mean there will be a happy ending to the story. Avoid possible heartache by choosing who you pursue. It may be hard to say “no” to taking a chance but some love stories were just not meant to be.
For many people, love found through a long-distance relationship doesn’t work. It often ends with heartache. Once you move beyond the passion and get down to the business of making plans to be together “forever”, it often falls apart. You either find out how selfish someone is, or you find out that you both are living lives where you have little control over your immediate futures.