Ladies, how many of you have been in the situation where you finally have found the right man, yet he doesn’t seem to want to commit to a monogamous relationship? Biologically speaking, men are programmed to want to have multiple partners. However, some of us are just plain afraid of committing to a long-term relationship without any biological predispositions. In this article, we will look at five examples of why men are afraid of commitment and how the right women can overcome them.
Afraid of Being Hurt
The biggest deterrent for a committing to a long-term relationship for myself, and many other men is the fear of being hurt. I interviewed my good friend Colleen Guckian and she shared a similar concern of why she avoids serious relationships. Most men have had that one women or lover who broke their heart at one point or another. When we have this experience we show our emotional side, which many of us, myself included, hate to show others. For men to date someone in a serious relationship, the women must prove that she is committed and patient with our choice. One of the biggest turnoffs for a man is a woman who is pushy about a relationship when we are unsure. You will know when we are ready, until then become someone we can trust and rely upon.
Cultural practices have changed greatly in the past 60-years. Men and women are waiting longer to get married, have children and settle down. Some of us may be ready to commit in our 20s, yet others of us would like to wait. However, if we find our perfect match we will not avoid a serious relationship based on our age alone.
Fear of Emotions
Let’s face it, how many men really want to show their emotions? From my personal experience, I have avoided multiple serious relationships for the simple reason that I did not want to have an emotional side. If you are sleeping with your boyfriend and he does not seem to show his emotional side, it does not mean he is hiding his feelings. Men do not feel the same connection during sex that most women do, instead we open up to our emotional side when we find someone that we can connect with on a deeper level. For a serious relationship to work, men want someone that they can view as an equal partner, not just someone who can please them in the bedroom.
You Might Not be the One
For a man to commit to a serious relationship we want to be sure that our partner is someone that will make us happy on many levels. Sometimes we do not want to commit to something that we feel will not last long-term for the fear of hurting you and ourselves. Colleen mentioned a similar trait that women feel; they don’t want to fully commit to someone unless they feel they are compatible. We are afraid that forming a relationship with someone who we don’t feel is a suitable partner will end up hurting both parties involved. However, sometimes the risk is worth the potential reward and we will take the chance.
My biggest reason why I don’t commit to a serious relationship without a lot of thought is the fear of dating someone who becomes too attached. We want someone we can trust, count on and that will impress the friends and parents. However, someone who is desperate for a serious relationship for the sake of a relationship and not because of us is a huge turnoff that will scare off nearly every man. When the relationship is in its casual stage be sure to avoid over texting, seeing your partner every minute of the day and asking him what he is doing every hour, unless we specify otherwise. We like to have our space, but we will make time for someone that we find fun and compatible.