I keep watching Jersey Shore and I’m compelled to do so even though it turns my brain into goop and makes me scream at the television screen. Every few minutes I’m screaming out, “OMG, she’s so stupid!” or “Oh geez, what an a-hole!” or “Ew, what the heck is she wearing!?” Maybe it’s because I’m from Jersey and hardly ever get to go to the shore. Maybe because there is nothing else worth watching on television. It could be because it’s stupidly entertaining.
Okay, so we’ve got eight twenty-somethings (some of whom look more like thirty-somethings): Angelina , Pauly D , JWoww, Ronnie, Sammi, Snooki, The Situation and Vinnie. They all live in nice place and pretty much do nothing except what they feel like doing.
They don’t pay bills or really go to real jobs. They get up late, go to bed late, party all night, have a driver drive them around, get drunk, shop, go to the gym, work at a gelato shop (like never), talk on the phone, cook but eat out most of the time, wear skimpy clothes, go to the beach, argue and make up, flaunt their fun-bags and six-packs, hunt for potential sex partners, have sex, act stupid all day, make up silly words and talk a bunch of crap.
While it sounds like the essence of stupidity, honestly it seems like a lot more fun than getting up at the butt-crack of dawn, schlepping to a job five days a week that you don’t particularly like that probably doesn’t pay you enough money to live as well as you’d like to and then you have to commute and keep from killing somebody all the way there and all the way back and having a road rage fit.
If somebody called you up tomorrow and said, “Listen, I’m going to pay for you to live in a house with some other people, give you a driver to haul you around, pay you six figures, you can shop and eat out, do what you want all day, party all night with all the liquor you can drink and you can have sex if you feel like it and you’ll probably make some more money on television appearances, endorsements and get into all the best clubs, parties and events for free”, what would you do? I’d be packed before somebody could say, “hair gel”.
If they ever make a show like that for older people sign me up. I’m in. They could call it “Jersey Geriatrics”.
I am also totally intrigued by the lingo on the show:
So, don’t be creepin’ with no double-baggers even if you’re sloppy joe ’cause you don’t wanna wake up in the morning next to no grenade or landmine and find out you smooshed. Okay, I gotta go GTL now.
You got all that? What????