An incredible wind storm hit Clintonville last week! For three days the town, along with most of Wisconsin, was blasted by a steady stream of 30 mph wind and pummeled by even stronger gusts. And all that was just election campaigning!
But seriously, the high winds took off with one of my campaign yard signs and I had to search the neighborhood downstream to find it again. I imagined that I wasn’t the only one this happened to, and began to wonder if there might be some way to make sure everyone who lost a sign could get the right one back where it belongs; standing in the yard, making a statement of support for the candidate most likely to endorse their best interests.
I decided I might just go through the neighborhood picking up stray signs and see if I could get them back where they belong.
Citizen: “Yes, may I help you?”
Me: “Good morning sir. I have a car filled with campaign signs that have blown away, and I see that you have some empty frames in your yard. Perhaps we can play a game and you’ll let me guess which ones you want?”
Citizen: “Ok, I’ll play along.”
Me: “Great! Thank you. Ok, here goes.
“Do you like to buy your neighbor’s gas, so he can drive his car to work or where ever else he may want to go?”
Citizen: “What? Of course not. He’s a friend of mine, but he can pay for his own gas!”
Me: “Ok. So you would not want Tom Barrett for governor. He supports the ‘half-fast’ train from Milwaukee to Madison that only a few of our distant neighbors will ever use. It will cost $815 million to build, and more to maintain every year! All of us around the whole state will be paying for every ride taken. So that’s one Scott Walker sign for you then right?”
Citizen: “Yes, I guess that’s right.”
Me: “Just looking at you sir, I see a man who appreciates the status quo. Feingold has been doing nothing for Wisconsin in the Senate for 18 years and that’s the way it should be right? He thinks that only the Federal Government can address our problems and the only way to do that is by taking our money and spending it smarter than we can. Perhaps we should have another stimulus plan, because the first one failed so miserably and maybe we should take the health care law and, instead of repealing it, since it has already caused insurance costs to rise, make it stronger with more penalties on those who don’t want or need it…….
Citizen: “Wait! It’s really time for a change now. Ron Johnson sign please.”
Me: “Ok. That’s the last one of those in my car. And what about Ribble vs Kagen?
Citizen: “Well Kagen is like a little Feingold isn’t he? Following the President and Pelosi wherever they go? I’ll take a Ribble sign please.”
Me: “Yes but Kagen is an allergy Doctor. Don’t you think that’s better than being just a businessman like Ribble?
Citizen: “No thanks. It’s time we have someone who will represent us instead of representing the President.
Me: “I’m sorry but I’ve been trying to sort out these signs all morning, and after talking to dozens of people all I have left is a pile of Democrat’s signs! Are you sure you don’t want a Feingold or a Barrett or a Kagen?