It’s happened to me- puking my guts out at about 3 AM, watching copious amounts of alcohol and food spill out all over somebody else’s carpet, and not even realizing the damage caused until waking up out of a coma the next day at around noon. And when I finally do pry my bloodshot eyes open to the waiting world, I’m struck by both stench and the HUGE mess that is everywhere.
The worst foods in the absolute world to eat before getting drunk are spaghetti and salad. Why? Because these two foods when thrown back up in a frenzy of alcohol-induced purging, make a terrible mess that is nearly impossible to clean up entirely on the first try.
Which is worse? Spaghetti or salad? Salad, hands down. The hardly chewed lettuce and veggie pieces spew out EVERYWHERE and dry almost immediately, which means you can’t just wipe it up off the toilet, counter, carpet, and out of the tub, you have to scrape every little remnant of roughage out with your fingernail or a scrub brush, and you won’t get every piece the first time. For a few days and weeks you’ll find a bit of cabbage on a hair brush, a piece of lettuce stuck to the toilet paper roll holder, etc. Salad is a hangover beast.
Why is spaghetti bad? Because in your hurry to go out and party, you don’t chew any of the noodles up, so when you finally do lose your noodles at about 4 AM, you’re spewing whole noodles all over the place like throwing handfuls at a ceiling fan. Plus, the noodles are full of sticky bile that just smears all over the carpet, and the red sauce? Stains everything! Not to mention the acrid smell! I threw up a pile of spaghetti noodles that was so slippery it wouldn’t pick up with a washcloth, I had to scoop it up in my hands and toss the gunk into the toilet. The smell lingered for days until my roommates mother came over and attacked the huge red stain.
If you want to get drunk, go for one of 2 things, sweet foods to get drunk faster, or salty foods, to get drunk over time but really retain your liquor to stay drunk longer. I always went salty, but looking back I should have stuck to something with less color to it, and forgo the salad. I guess cheese fries would be a better bet-sounds a lot easier to clean up the next day.