Let’s face it, you can get recaps of WWE programming anywhere (including my own articles at Associatedcontent.com). You can even watch the replays online thanks to WWE.
So, since I am a certified personal trainer, a makeup artist, photographer, and cosmetology student, I have decided to focus on the health and beauty aspects of each WWE episode that I view and give you analysis here.
Let’s get started with tonight’s episode of SmackDown.
World Heavyweight Champion Kane starts off the show by talking about how Edge abducted his father, Paul Bearer, and all he wants is his father back. Before we even get to Edge’s response, let’s discuss Kane.
Although Kane is a very tall athlete, a giant if you will. He still has a bit of a belly going on. The huge championship belt only accentuates the belly and I can see that there is, indeed, fat covering the belly of the Big Red Monster.
Out comes Edge in his street clothes with a big, empty wheelchair. Edge’s style as far as street clothes are concerned is very casual. Blue jeans and his over the top rope t-shirt and some cool sneakers. The jeans are usually ripped, but this pair is in pretty good condition. That’s nothing new for Edge however it is quite different from his rock star like song and long leather coat that accompany his ring attire.
The hair really never changes, though. It is a bit on the long side, cut into layers. I think the reason he keeps it that way so that when he gets into his zone before he spears someone he can keep pushing the hair back on his head. Well, Edge pretty much does that anytime he gets stressed out, but usually before the spear is delivered to an unsuspecting opponent.
In our first match of the night Kofi Kingston faces Jack Swagger to qualify for next week’s King of the Ring match. Kofi is a much more athletic competitor with respect to his agility and smaller stature. He is a high flyer and you can always tell the high flyers in the WWE because they generally have more muscle definition.
Not to take anything away from Jack Swagger as he is a two-time collegiate All-American, but he is a huge guy who doesn’t move very fast. Although Swagger is great at grappling, his repertoire has really only extended to included the now infamous ankle lock. However, if Jack Swagger could diversify his training and add more cardio to his routine, then he would be able to keep up better and contend with superstars like Kofi Kingston and Rey Mysterio. And with his superior athleticism, determination, and resiliency, Kofi Kingston wins a spot at King of the Ring.
Backstage with Kane and Teddy Long I have to say that SmackDown GM Teddy Long is always dressed sharply and tonight is no exception. Tonight, Mr. Long has on a black suit and with wine colored tie. Very sharp Mr. Long, keep up the good work!
Well, Kane still can’t find Paul Bearer but we must forge on for more King of the Ring qualifiers.
Backstage with Josh Matthews is Alberto Del Rio. I see that Josh has a fade going on. That’s awesome and much better than the all over shaven look he had been sporting. And his suits always look great. Then there’s Alberto Del Rio. Although we can only see him from the shoulders up, if you’ve seen him before, you know that since we only see his white scarf, that he is in his ring gear and that means that he is wearing those awful gold briefs and white boots. Yes, he matches but it’s not flattering at all.
In fact, I suggest that Alberto Del Rio hit the weights in the gym a little more than the time he spends running his mouth. After all, even though his submission arm bar maneuver is effective, it does not always work. And against his opponent tonight, The Big Show, he might not get that far. He needs to be ready for all opponents and he doesn’t appear to be conditioned for that yet.
As for The Big Show, I can only imagine how tough it must be to be 7 feet tall. Add to that the fact that he weighs over 500 pounds and it’s amazing that he is able to move around as fast as he does. But we all know that one choke slam or knockout punch from The Big Show will end the match very quickly. Del Rio was on the receiving end of that this past Sunday at Survivor Series as Team Mysterio took on Team Del Rio (Team Mysterio with the win).
The only offense Del Rio really has against The Big Show is to “bring him down to size” by getting him off of his feet. But for the interference of Del Rio’s ring announcer, The Big Show would be going to the King of the Ring tournament. The resulting count out gave Del Rio his trip to King of the Ring.
The next King of the Ring qualifying match is between MVP and Drew McIntyre. MVP enters the ring and is dressed in black and silver. Yes, silver and not his trademark red. I like the silver. In case you’re wondering, yes, MVP did change to color of his nasal strip and it is black. Meanwhile, I’m pretty sure Drew McIntyre has the longest hair of any superstar. It looks like he takes care of it well. Too bad he’s so ugly on the inside. And due to an arm injury to MVP, Drew McIntyre qualifies for the King of the Ring tournament next Monday night on a special, live 3-hour Raw from Philadelphia.
And out comes LayCool. They say it is their worst week ever because they think Natalya stole their Divas title and then she got them kicked out of Monday Night Raw. That was hilarious! But in the hometown of Michelle McCool, Jacksonville, Florida, she isn’t giving them much to celebrate. Michelle is dressed in her gold ring gear with Layla in very tight and very short street clothes with over the knee boots. The sad thing is that they claim to be flawless, but both outfits only serve to make their hips look bigger.
Michelle’s opponent tonight is Kelly Kelly, also from Jacksonville, Florida. It looks like Kelly Kelly hasn’t quite hit her fashion stride with her ring gear, but he’s cool anyway. Even though Kelly Kelly wins, LayCool ambushes Kelly Kelly only to have Beth Phoenix come to her aid. Dressed in black and silver ring gear with her matching black knee brace (from a 2 on 1 match when Beth Phoenix defended the Women’s Championship title against LayCool and they injured her ACL; Beth Phoenix made her reappearance this past Sunday at Survivor Series when she helped out the new Divas Champion Natalya against another LayCool attack) Beth Phoenix doesn’t miss a beat taking LayCool to task and showing them they can’t bully the Divas anymore.
Our final King of the Ring qualifying match is between the master of the 619, Rey Mysterio and “Dashing” Cody Rhodes. Mysterio’s t-shirt looked vintage with an homage to the Mexican wrestling tradition. But Mysterio is primarily dressed in a light blue that matches his mask. Rhodes is always dashing but he does not wear knee pads, which is very interesting. I do have to say that I love Rhodes’ grooming tips on how men can be dashing like him. His tips for health and hygiene are actually really good and on point. I didn’t think I would ever say this, but take his tips!
Rhodes is a good wrestler, but Mysterio is a high flyer of short stature. He and Evan Bourne are the shortest superstars (now with Daniel Bryan) but are quick in the ring. Both are featured in the WWE DVD of high flyers. Mysterio’s ability to be quick and fly enables him to outmaneuver his opponents regardless of whether or not he uses his 619. If we could just get through the match without interference from Alberto Del Rio, that would be good. But, alas, that is not the case and when Rhodes hit his crossroads, “Dashing” Cody Rhodes has advanced.
The King of the Ring contestants are United States Champion Daniel Bryan, Ezekiel Jackson, John Morrisson, Sheamus, Drew McIntyre, Kofi Kingston, Alberto Del Rio and “Dashing” Cody Rhodes. Who is your pick for the winner? I have no idea!
And just when you think it’s over, Edge gives Kane one more chance to get Paul Bearer out in the parking lot. But when Kane gets there, he thinks Paul is still in the wheelchair and so he is shocked when a car hits the wheelchair. No Paul, it was just Edge driving the car with Paul Bearer in the backseat. Better luck next time Kane!
That’s it for the weekend! Join me on Monday night for my commentary on the live, 3-hour special where we will see a new King of the Ring.